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Thursday, December 13, 2012

Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
I am a 60-year-old divorced female and have been seeing "Harrison" for three years . Despite the fact that harrison is a wonderful man ... honest , funny , handsome , loyal and hardworking  ... there is one thing I can't get past ; he is terribly under-endowed  , if you get my drift . I'm ebarrassed to even think of complaining  about this  , but it affects  the  whole lovemaking  thing . I've always had a strong  sex drive  , and the lack of ,um , size is un satisfying .
How do I get pass this ? I truly care about harrison and hate  to think that i'm so shallow  that his size  would matter so much . It's as petty as a man saying  his girlfriend  is great  , but she's flat-chested , so she's out . But it's bothering me  enough to write .
Little Thing in the Way
Dear Little Thing ,
We won't get in the "size doesn't Matter" discussion , because it obviously matters to you . First try Kegel exercises  (talk to your gynecologist for information). It is  also possible to find greater satisfaction through different  positions and techniques  and  the use of sex toys . But only you can determine  how immportant  this is to your relationship . If you truly love Harrison , this is something  manageable . Otherwise  , it's simple  a source of frustration .
Dear Maxy ,
I could really use help from you  and your readers . I need to know  if any of your readers  have had  a spouse cheat on them . Did they stay together  or did they filed for divorce ? What was the effect on their children ?
My husband hed a lengthy affair  with a woman  who was 10 years his senior . We spent 14 months in counseling  to try and work things out . I think I have an understanding of why  the affair happened in the first place  . But I cannot get passall of the hurt  , the lies , the mistrust and the failure  to honor our marital vows .
I recently moved out of his house  so I could get a better grip  on getting over the affair . This really hurts  and I need some advice .
Dear Heartbroken ,
It seems as if you did the right things , from getting counseling to moving out  after you felt you weren't healing .
Some couples  are able yo weather  an affair  and reclaim their love  on the other side  . To do so , both have to want the relationship and be willing  to talk out any issues  that come  up as they finally forgive each other for everything  that led up to break in the marriage vows  . Is this an easy process ?  No .
Because you have children  , it's essential that you remain  respectful  of each other  and connected  to your children , regardless  of what happens between  the two of you .  Resist the temptation  to speak poorly about each other  , no matter what happens .
You should continue  to get counseling  support for your personal healing .
Dear Maxy ,
Every year , I get presents  for my long-lost relatives  and they send me  broken , used  stuff ot nothing at all  and no thank you .
Are you graded on what you give  , or what you get . That's what I'm "REALLY" worried about ! Still , this year I'm feeling  like I'm boiling over  about it . They're very well off  and I just have this cottage industry trandcribing legal documents . It feels  like they don't even want to be related  to me . Do I get them stuff antway ?
Feeling Dissed
Dear feeling Dissed ,
You are correct  that you should not give  to recieve . At the same time  , if you get no joy  from giving  to these people  , stop giving to them . Clearly they don't value  gifts in the same way you do .
Instead of sending them something  that you have bought  , consider sending  a lovely holiday card  with a personalized  message . This connects  you in a loving and meaningful way .

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