My Blog List

Thursday, September 10, 2015

Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
It has been a dream of mine to continue my college education in London . When I spoke to my mentors about my plans , they told me that it would not be a good idea because the America job market will not hold an international degree in the same regard as an American college degree . I respect my mentor , but I really think I should go to London and make my dream come true . Besides , I cannot let my friends down ... this is all I have been talking about since I was 10 years old . What are your thoughts ? Should I make my dream come true , or should I continue my college education in America with a focus on international studies ? 
A Dream Deferred
Dear Dream Deferred ,
 Listen to your heart and also do some intense research . You should not think about whether or not you will be letting down your friends. It is your life , not theirs .
 As far as your mentors are concerned , find out if what they are telling you has any relevance .  Contact some corporations  you are interested in and find out what their policy is regarding degrees from other countries. If you are pursuing a degree at a British school  that is acclaimed for your particular major, chances are that you will be well placed in a job with that solid academic background . Figure out what the top schools in your field are and determine if you can afford to go , either because you can pay the tuition or you can secure scholarships or loans . Once you are well informed, you will be prepared to make a decision , you will know what the best choice is for you .

Dear Maxy ,
I was invited to attend a small wedding in a few weeks for one of my college friends . I invited a woman to be my date for the ceremony . However , we are not currently communicating with each other due to a disagreement . Do you think it is wrong for me to inform her that I made new arrangements for the wedding? I don't mean to be rude , but we are no longer dating and she doesn't even know the couple .
Wedding Crusher 
Dear Wedding Crusher,
You absolutely need to hold fast to a wedding invitation with this woman . You do need to let her know that you are no longer expecting her to go with you . You may also want to clear the air regarding your disagreement . Even if you have no intention of getting together with her ever again , it is  kind and respectful to close the loop . In the best of worlds , you should contact her and start by addressing whatever the conflict was . Follow up with the point that you are no longer expecting her to join you .


Dear Maxy ,
I've been in a relationship for five years with a guy who has been very enjoyable company , however , in the past 18 months , rumors have surfaced about him being bisexual . He never told me about this part of his past . Finally , I confronted him and he admitted that this was just a whim at a time in his life when he was alone . He's been divorced for 23 years and claims he never knew why his wife divorced him . 
He now feels that since he is with me and the desires are no longer there , I should just forget about my disgusted feelings and go on as if nothing was ever said . His friends were the ones who kept dropping these hints to me , but , of course I ignored them until now .
I don't know if I should continued this relationship . He is 85 and I am 79 . We don't have sex since he has erectile dysfunction and his desire has diminished .
Worrying Winnie 
Dear Winner ,
What is that you want from this relationship ? Whatever is in this man's past does not need to affect you or your future . Someone who is bisexual is attracted to both men and woman but the proof of his loyalty lies in the fact that he has stayed with you for five years. He obviously cares very much for you. Do you want to lose that?
If this were a sexual relationship , I might understand your concerns . But you aren't having sex with him and have no plans to do so . You don't have to marry him to enjoy the relationship . You admit you find him to be very enjoyable company . I don't see a problem . 
When  we reach our senior years, having a dear friend is very precious to us. Don't lose that friendship for lack of understanding.

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