Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy,
A few years ago , my wife  and I retired  and moved to a new home . We are friendly , helpful  and generous, especially with good food  and hospitality . But our neighbors have never reciprocated with so much as a cookie and we have  never been invited  to their homes .
We all get along well enough but I have asked my wife not to make extra dishes for them  any longer . I'm disappointed  with the manners of the younger folks  who don't seem to understand reciprocity .
Southern Golden Oldie
Dear Southern ,
Some people are reluctant  to to entertain in their homes but you certainly do not have to keep putting forth the effort  if there is no reciprocity of any kind . There's no point  in being resentful . You can have  a perfectly cordial relationship with these neighbors  without baking pies and inviting them for cookies .
Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
My roommate  and I wanted to get a dog  together because our apartment  was lonely .We ended up getting a cute little sheepdog , but I am allergic to him . He is so cute  and I do not want to get rid of him but my alleergies are killing me . I feel it is not fair to my roommate  to not have the dog  just because of me . I have started an over-the-counter  allergy regimen , which helps a little  , but I don't know how long  I can go always waking up stuffy .
Allergic
Dear Allergic ,
Too bad  you did not realize  you were allergic  from the start . Since you  agreed to get the dog, it is best for you to do all you can to figure  out if you can live  with it . Start by going to the doctor . There may be  something more  potent than over-the-counter  allergy medication .
You and your roommate  should also  be vigilant  about vacuuming  and dusting and remember to vacuum the furniture. Sheepdogs  have long hair  that sheds . Do your best to limit  the amount  of dander  that lingers  in the air .To achieve that you have to clean constantly . An air cleaner will help too. You should keep your bedroom  off-limits  to the dog . Close the door and putting an air cleaner in your room also would be beneficial. You can also limit  how much you touch  the dog . You can be kind  and loving without a lot of petting, even though it may seem hard to do .
Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
My brother  is dating my ex-girlfriend and while I told him  it was OK  and that it didn't bother me, it does . I don't have feeling for her or anything but I feel odd  knowing that  my little brother  is dating her . They look happy  together  and I do not want  to say anything  to my brother  that will upset  him or make  him break up with her just because of me .
Misgivings
Dear Misgivings ,
It is only natural  for it to be tough for someone you love  to date someone  you once dated, especially if you  and the former  girlfriend  were close. On the one hand , it was big of you  to give your brother  permission to date her . Even more , it was respectful  of your brother  to ask you . Still, that doesn't change the reality that you are dealing with today .
Seeing their relationship  play out in real life must be difficult, at least at first . I do not think you should say anything  to your brother . Instead , live your life . If you are dating someone, focus your energy on that relationship  rather than your brother's. Stay in the moment  and resist  obsessing over what  your brother and she are doing .
Be kind and cordial  to her  when she is around . Decide  that you will be able to accept  them as a couple  . Over time, you should be able to make that happen .
Maxy