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Thursday, March 21, 2013

Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy,
I am 55 years old  and have worked  at my job  fo 25 years . A couple of years ago  the company hired  a 26-year-old  guy . I have been patient, but I am reaching the end of my rope .
"Casey" cannot  remember  what was said  the minute  he hangs up the telephone . He doesn't pay attention  to what  he is doing  . He takes on no new  responsibilities, which drives the rest  of us crazy . He just does his work  and then plays on the internet . It seems  that he's simply along for the ride.
I have asked him  to do some tasks, thinking that he'd catch on , but he's not grabbing the carrot . He makes  the same  mistakes over and over, and mind you, he deals with other people's money . We don't think he cares  one bit  about anybody but himself .
I cannot think  of a way to  address  this without  being hurtful . Casey  does not take  criticism  well and sulks  when confronted  . Even the boss  is afraid to speak to Casey  because he'll fall apart . What can we do ?
Wish He'd Quit
Dear Wish ,
If the boss is unwilling  to deal with Casey , knowing  that he isn't competent, there's not much you can do . Criticism  will not be helpful . Instead , please try  to mentor Casey . Teach him carefully  and consistantly, even though  it requires  constant  repetition . Even 3-year olds  can learn , given enough  instruction and practice. It's certainly  better than  banging your head against the wall  in frustration .
Maxy

Dear Maxy,
I am 16 years old  and have a twin sister .We both make excellent grades  and are popular  with teachers  and friends . But we constantly  fight . I am controlling  and demanding  around her . She doesn't respond to me, listen to to me or respect me  . I'm sure that's why I'm so controlling .
The past few  months have  been miserable  for me . I absolutely  cannot wait to go off to college  and be away from my sister  . I realize  that I am part of the problem  because I do cause some drama. But she makes me feel bad about  myself, and as a result, I hate being around her. Life is her way or the highway .
She will demand  that I help her with school , so I do . But if the help isn't up to her  standards, she screams at me, hits me  and gets me in trouble .
If I don't help her, my parents  punish me . Yet if I ask to borrow a text book, she refuses .
I'm contemplating staying  with my grandparents  on the weekends  and also thought  about cutting  off communication  with my sister . I can't continue  to deal with  this . It is affecting my health  . How do I resolve these issues ?
Brother
Dear Brother ,
You sister has managed to get your undivided attention  at all times  . I suggest  you work  on your response to her . Learn to ignore her sweetly . I also suggest  you steer clear  of her as much as possible . Study at a friend's house  . Go to your grandparents' for the weekend  . Explain to your parents  that the house will be quieter  if you and your sister  spend less time  in each other's company . You could also discuss this with your school counselor .
Maxy

Dear Maxy,
I thought  my roommate  and I had  a pretty  OK relationship  until I saw  that he posted  something negative about me online, saying he felt sorry for whomever  has to live with ne  next year . I confronted him  about it  and it turns out  it was something he didn't post. Now he's mad at me . I apologized , but how can  I rectify the situation ?
On The Outs
Dear On The Outs,
Did you find out who did post the negative comments ? If the statement  appeared on your roommate's social media page, it makes sense  that you would think  he wrote it . Talk to your roommate  about  what happened . Explain why  you got so upset  that something  like that  would be stated publicly . Move on to the issue at hand  and ask  if he has concerns  about being your roommate . Even though  he  may not have written  the comment, he may share the sentiment . Tell him how you feel about being his roommate .In other words, clear the air .
Maxy

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