How healthy is your lunch place ?
Officially , a healthy work place is one where employees and managers work together to continually promote the improvement of the health , safety and well being of all workers . Work place safety p;ans can address many aspects of employee health such as the physical needs of the employees .
While it is important for employers to adress the overall health of employees . It is also important for for employees to take steps to ensure their own health as well . Here are a few tips to help you create a healthy workplace for you and your co-workers .
1 . Start with the breakroom :
Do people frequently bring less healthy options for everyone to share ? If so , take a step in the right direction by bringing healthier options for others . Fruits , vegetables and nuts are great options .
2 . Take healthy breaks :
Walk around your office or office building . Use break time and part of your lunch time to get some physical activity . You will be healthier and more productive .
3 . Take a look at lunch :
Do you eat lunch out or bring your lunch ? If you frequently eat lunch out of the office , take an inventory of the places available . Get copies of their menus and search online or ask the restaurant for the nutrition facts . Use this information to make a healthier choice before you order .
4 . Look for habits :
If you frequently purchase items from the vending machine , you may want to consider keeping healthier options on hand for snacks .
Words of Wisdom
“Be careful not to mistake insecurity and inadequacy for humility! Humility has nothing to do with the insecure and inadequate! Just like arrogance has nothing to do with greatness!”
"The human mind is very limited in that it can only ponder its current perception of reality and cannot stretch very far beyond what it 'thinks' it knows."
"Productivity completely depends on a person’s will power as only people capable of utilizing their complete potential will be able to attain productive gains." Brian Adams,
"Be curious about what’s going on around you, as well as within you. Learn about your emotions, your sensations, your thoughts and fears, and accept them as an integral part of yourself."
"Life is too short to spend your precious time trying to convince a person who wants to live in gloom and doom otherwise. Give lifting that person your best shot, but don't hang around long enough for his or her bad attitude to pull you down. Instead, surround yourself with optimistic people."
A proud grand-poppa G.
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Saturday, May 30, 2015
Food for Thought : Lunch
Thursday, May 28, 2015
Ask Maxy
Dear Maxy ,
I just learned from my son's school that he is not doing as well in math as we had hoped . He doesn't have to go to summer school , but it would be helpful for him to have support so that he could do better next year. We have already set him up in a number of programs for the summer , all of which are fun based . Now I realize that we have to add tutoring . How do I break it down to him so that he will pay attention and do real work when he expects to have the summer off to just have fun ?
Getting to the point
Dear Getting to The Point ,
Before summer starts , sit down with your son and review his grades and whatever additional information you have gathered from his school . Ask your son to talk to you about how he feels he has done in class . Get him to speak about where he thinks he may need support . Create a conversation that allows your son to feel comfortable enough to open up about his academic life . Introduce the idea of a tutor and don't make it sound like punishment for a disappointing performance in math. Make it sound more like support and tell him it will make next year's math course much easier for him. He will start the new school year fully prepared. It will be easier for him to accept and pay attention to a tutor who reviews his year's work in easy stages.
As for the remainder of the summer, I suggest you tell your son about the rest of the schedule you have put in place for him. Get his input. He may not wish to participate in all of the programs. It is, after all, his vacation. He is still a kid and is entitled to have some free hang time, to just be a kid and do whatever he feels like doing. Make time for that. Too much regimentation can suppress a child's imagination, creativity and individuality.
Monitor him without making it noticeable, throughout the summer, to see if he is enjoying his activities and completing his studies. The most important thing here is to see to his happiness first and everything else second.
Maxy.
Dear Maxy,
I have been trying to find a friend from high school because I came across some old letters from him back in the day . I was cleaning out my house , and when I found them , they made me happy . I have had so much loss in the past few years between family members passing and a few friends in my age group . I want to find this old friend . Anyhow, I have asked around and I learned he is incarcerated . I feel so bad for him . I also wonder if I should follow up and send him a note or even visit him . It took some digging , but I know exactly where he is . My worry is that if I contact him , I will then need to somehow be responsible for him . What should I do ?
Finding a Friend ... Jackson , Mississippi
Dear Finding A Friend ,
You have gone such lengths to find out where your friend is, don't stop now. Send him a letter telling him that you have been thinking about him and why. Enclose one of the letters that you found , if you like . Explain that re-reading the letters made you happy during your time of sadness and loss. Thank him for that and wish him well .
If he writes you back, there is no harm in indulging in some correspondence with him. You are both adults and very much alone.
But you are in no way responsible for this person, nor will you ever be. You are merely two old friends who got in touch and nothing more. Keep it on a very casual pen pal level.
Maxy
Dear Maxy ,
Is there any end to it ? I am 68 and have been married 44 years . My husband and I both have some health issues , but he still needs sex or he becomes depressed and can't seem to function . My husband is also addicted to pornography and has been his whole adult life . I've looked the other way on this vice because he is otherwise a wonderful husband and father .
I just don't feel like feeding his sex fantasies at this stage of our marriage. Not to mention Viagra is an expensive pill and has some side affects . I seriously would like honest answers from other senior citizens in their late 60s or early 70s .
What should I do ? I've thought about ending the marriage and letting him find a younger gal . I know that's what some men need and want .
Had Enough , Thanks
Dear Had Enough ,
Your problems are mostly rooted in the fact that you have ignored your husband's porn addiction for years . You must discuss this with him and then you and he need to speak with a professional counselor, experienced in treating sexual addictions. It is the same as being addicted to a drug, alcohol, smoking or gambling. It's not something most people can change or go cold turkey on their own. He needs an intervention. Change is possible, even after all these years, but only if you guys stop the cycle you're on.
Married sex is about intimacy, loving and caring about the enjoyment of your partner. And there is no expiration date on that. He has, long ago, lost sight of that maxim and become completely selfish about intercourse. Perhaps you have lost sight of it too because of your disenchantment. For a start, you might go to a counselor on your own and talk it out with him. Then include your husband in the counseling.
Have you had enough sex, period... or just had enough indulging in the sexual fantasies, fed by his addiction ? If the latter, you are under no obligation to do things that make you feel uncomfortable or unhappy just to pander to his bizarre fantasy life .
But remember, although your libido may have disappeared because of health issues, his hasn't . And he still has needs that have to be addressed one way or another. The majority of seniors enjoy healthy, normal sexual relations for as long as they are well enough to participate. At 68 you should still be enjoying that closeness with your husband. There is of course, a natural, slow decline in libido as you get older and there are therapeutic hormonal remedies that can help women continue a happy sex life. Your husband should not be using Viagra. It just aggravates his problems and yours . Viagra can also have very harmful side effects.
To learn about sex among seniors...go to these helpful websites :
- http://consumer.healthday.com/encyclopedia/aging-1/misc-aging-news-10/sex-and-seniors-the-70-year-itch-647575.html
- http://www.webmd.com/healthy-aging/guide/sex-aging
- http://www.over65.thehastingscenter.org/sex-after-sixty-five/
- http://www.helpguide.org/articles/aging-well/better-sex-as-you-age.htm
Maxy
I just learned from my son's school that he is not doing as well in math as we had hoped . He doesn't have to go to summer school , but it would be helpful for him to have support so that he could do better next year. We have already set him up in a number of programs for the summer , all of which are fun based . Now I realize that we have to add tutoring . How do I break it down to him so that he will pay attention and do real work when he expects to have the summer off to just have fun ?
Getting to the point
Dear Getting to The Point ,
Before summer starts , sit down with your son and review his grades and whatever additional information you have gathered from his school . Ask your son to talk to you about how he feels he has done in class . Get him to speak about where he thinks he may need support . Create a conversation that allows your son to feel comfortable enough to open up about his academic life . Introduce the idea of a tutor and don't make it sound like punishment for a disappointing performance in math. Make it sound more like support and tell him it will make next year's math course much easier for him. He will start the new school year fully prepared. It will be easier for him to accept and pay attention to a tutor who reviews his year's work in easy stages.
As for the remainder of the summer, I suggest you tell your son about the rest of the schedule you have put in place for him. Get his input. He may not wish to participate in all of the programs. It is, after all, his vacation. He is still a kid and is entitled to have some free hang time, to just be a kid and do whatever he feels like doing. Make time for that. Too much regimentation can suppress a child's imagination, creativity and individuality.
Monitor him without making it noticeable, throughout the summer, to see if he is enjoying his activities and completing his studies. The most important thing here is to see to his happiness first and everything else second.
Maxy.
I have been trying to find a friend from high school because I came across some old letters from him back in the day . I was cleaning out my house , and when I found them , they made me happy . I have had so much loss in the past few years between family members passing and a few friends in my age group . I want to find this old friend . Anyhow, I have asked around and I learned he is incarcerated . I feel so bad for him . I also wonder if I should follow up and send him a note or even visit him . It took some digging , but I know exactly where he is . My worry is that if I contact him , I will then need to somehow be responsible for him . What should I do ?
Finding a Friend ... Jackson , Mississippi
Dear Finding A Friend ,
You have gone such lengths to find out where your friend is, don't stop now. Send him a letter telling him that you have been thinking about him and why. Enclose one of the letters that you found , if you like . Explain that re-reading the letters made you happy during your time of sadness and loss. Thank him for that and wish him well .
If he writes you back, there is no harm in indulging in some correspondence with him. You are both adults and very much alone.
But you are in no way responsible for this person, nor will you ever be. You are merely two old friends who got in touch and nothing more. Keep it on a very casual pen pal level.
Maxy
Is there any end to it ? I am 68 and have been married 44 years . My husband and I both have some health issues , but he still needs sex or he becomes depressed and can't seem to function . My husband is also addicted to pornography and has been his whole adult life . I've looked the other way on this vice because he is otherwise a wonderful husband and father .
I just don't feel like feeding his sex fantasies at this stage of our marriage. Not to mention Viagra is an expensive pill and has some side affects . I seriously would like honest answers from other senior citizens in their late 60s or early 70s .
What should I do ? I've thought about ending the marriage and letting him find a younger gal . I know that's what some men need and want .
Had Enough , Thanks
Dear Had Enough ,
Your problems are mostly rooted in the fact that you have ignored your husband's porn addiction for years . You must discuss this with him and then you and he need to speak with a professional counselor, experienced in treating sexual addictions. It is the same as being addicted to a drug, alcohol, smoking or gambling. It's not something most people can change or go cold turkey on their own. He needs an intervention. Change is possible, even after all these years, but only if you guys stop the cycle you're on.
Married sex is about intimacy, loving and caring about the enjoyment of your partner. And there is no expiration date on that. He has, long ago, lost sight of that maxim and become completely selfish about intercourse. Perhaps you have lost sight of it too because of your disenchantment. For a start, you might go to a counselor on your own and talk it out with him. Then include your husband in the counseling.
Have you had enough sex, period... or just had enough indulging in the sexual fantasies, fed by his addiction ? If the latter, you are under no obligation to do things that make you feel uncomfortable or unhappy just to pander to his bizarre fantasy life .
But remember, although your libido may have disappeared because of health issues, his hasn't . And he still has needs that have to be addressed one way or another. The majority of seniors enjoy healthy, normal sexual relations for as long as they are well enough to participate. At 68 you should still be enjoying that closeness with your husband. There is of course, a natural, slow decline in libido as you get older and there are therapeutic hormonal remedies that can help women continue a happy sex life. Your husband should not be using Viagra. It just aggravates his problems and yours . Viagra can also have very harmful side effects.
To learn about sex among seniors...go to these helpful websites :
- http://consumer.healthday.com/encyclopedia/aging-1/misc-aging-news-10/sex-and-seniors-the-70-year-itch-647575.html
- http://www.webmd.com/healthy-aging/guide/sex-aging
- http://www.over65.thehastingscenter.org/sex-after-sixty-five/
- http://www.helpguide.org/articles/aging-well/better-sex-as-you-age.htm
Maxy
Sunday, May 24, 2015
STRAWBERRY BANANA CHEESECAKE SALAD
STRAWBERRY BANANA CHEESECAKE SALAD
Stir together:
1 bag of miniature marshmallows
16 oz of vanilla yogurt
1 regular size tub of cool whip
1 (3 1/2 ounce) box/pkg of no bake cheese cake filling (just add in and mix with rest of ingredients…do not actually make the mix)
Stir in
1-2 containers of sliced up strawberries
3-4 sliced up bananas
Other fruits can be substituted or added as desired.
Best served chilled and same day due to banana discoloration.
My grandkids loved this. They dived in and devoured the whole bowl in one sitting. Cool treat for a summer day.
The Cruelty of Huntington's Disease
WHAT is Huntington disease? Huntington disease Huntington disease (HD) is an inherited brain disorder. HD causes cells in parts of the brain to die: specifically the caudate, the putamen and, as the disease progresses, the cerebral cortex. As the brain cells die, a person with Huntington’s becomes less able to control movements, recall events, make decisions and control emotions. The disease leads to incapacitation and, eventually, death (generally due to other health complications).
WHO gets it? Huntington disease is a genetic disorder. The HD gene is dominant, which means that each child of a parent with HD has a 50% chance of inheriting the disease and is said to be “at-risk”. Males and females have the same risk of inheriting the disease. Huntington’s occurs in all races. Symptoms usually appear between the ages of 30 and 50, but the disease can appear in children or seniors. The disease is more prevalent in Europe and in people of European descent.
WHAT are the symptoms? Emotional turmoil (depression, apathy, irritability, anxiety, obsessive behavior) Cognitive loss (inability to focus, plan, recall or make decisions; impaired insight) Physical deterioration (weight loss, involuntary movements, diminished coordination, difficulty walking, talking, swallowing) There are significant variations in symptoms, and not every person will have all the symptoms to the same degree. Symptoms also vary with each stage of the disease.
Early Stages Early symptoms of the disease often include subtle cognitive changes. May have difficulty organizing routine matters or coping effectively with new situations May have difficulty recalling information may make them appear forgetful Work activities may become more time-consuming Decision making and attention to details may be impaired May include irritability Slight physical changes may also develop at this stage.
There can be involuntary movements which may initially consist of “nervous” activity, fidgeting, a twitching of the hands or feet, or excessive restlessness. Individuals may also notice a little awkwardness, changes in handwriting, or difficulty with daily tasks such as driving. At this stage, people with Huntington’s can function quite well at work and at home. Intermediate Stages As the disease progresses, the symptoms become worse.
The initial physical symptoms will gradually develop into more obvious involuntary movements such as jerking and twitching of the head, neck and arms and legs. These movements may interfere with walking, speaking and swallowing. People at this stage of Huntington’s often stagger when they walk and their speech may become slurred. They may have increasing difficulty working or managing a household, but can still deal with most activities of daily living.
ADVANCED STAGES : The advanced stages of Huntington’s typically involve fewer involuntary movements and more rigidity. People in these stages of HD can no longer manage the activities of daily living and usually require professional nursing. Difficulties with swallowing, communication, and weight loss are common. Death usually occurs 15 to 25 years after the onset of the disease. People don’t die from Huntington’s itself, but from complications such as choking, heart failure, infection or aspiration pneumonia.
Are there TREATMENTS? In 2011, Canadian researchers provided bold new hope when they were able to successfully reverse the physical symptoms of the disease in a mouse model. This groundbreaking research is the first of its kind in the world and represents a major milestone on the path to the discovery of an effective treatment. Testing and further study of this new model of prevention are ongoing. At the moment, however, there are no treatments that will slow down or stop the disease in humans.
There are some drug treatments available that can reduce some of the symptoms of HD, such as depression, anxiety, and involuntary movements. These drugs can have side effects, so not everyone with Huntington’s uses them. On a more promising note, there are several advanced drug trials underway under the auspices of the Huntington Study Group, an international consortium focused on clinical research in Huntington disease.
Canadian scientists are extremely excited about the hope that these drugs may hold. They are at the forefront of Huntington's research and are very dedicated to finding the cure. The researchers are also looking at surgical treatments, such as implanting fetal brain cells into the brains of Huntington’s patients in the hope the cells will grow and take over the functions of the dead cells. Researchers feel we are close to reliable treatments.
The successful treatment and/or cure will not come in time to save my friend. Please make a generous contribution to the Huntington Society of Canada. You may be saving the life of someone you know.
13 surprising home remedies for acid reflux
Acid reflux or GERD (gastroesophageal reflux disease), which is a more scientific way to describe heartburn, affects 50 percent of Americans. While heartburn suggests you just ate a pizza that bothered you, GERD is when food, acid contents, bilious material or pancreatic juices travel back up into your esophagus, causing trouble more than twice a week, says Patricia Raymond, a gastroenterologist in Chesapeake, Va.
The acid solution that splashes up into the esophagus causes inflammation, irritation and scarring, which can narrow the circumference of the esophagus. Symptoms include hoarseness, food getting stuck, burning, irritation, nausea, coughing, wheezing, asthma symptoms and eroded tooth enamel. It also increases your odds of esophageal cancer.
Getting to the root of the problem is the most important step. People who are overweight or older tend to be affected more since abdominal fat interferes with esophagus function, and the esophageal sphincter, which prevents backsplash, weakens with age. And many of the best things in life can relax the sphincter, including chocolate, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, and greasy, spicy and fatty foods.
But it’s not a hopeless situation. Here are some of the best natural home remedies to try for the occasional bout of acid reflux:
1. Lose weight. Studies show losing 10 percent of your body fat can improve acid reflux symptoms.
2. Embark on an anti-reflux diet (eliminating all those yummy vices above). “Don’t get too excited; it only makes a difference for about 30 percent of people,” says Raymond. “Plus, the problem with the diet is that we find most people would rather die than be on that diet for the rest of their life.”
3. Try eating raw almonds, an alkaline-producing food that can balance your pH because they are a good source of calcium, says Dr. Millie Lytle, a naturopathic doctor in New York.
4. Drink two ounces of unprocessed aloe vera juice daily.
5. Start your day with a cup of warm water and fresh lemon juice. “By drinking this on an empty stomach 15 to 20 minutes before eating anything else, the body can naturally balance out its acid levels. It's a great digestive aid and is safe for all users,” says Rebekah Fedrowitz, an applied holistic nutritionist.
6. Try a tablespoon of baking soda in a half cup water — not tasty but effective.
7. Take 1 to 2 teaspoons daily of apple cider vinegar. It’s great mixed with honey in tea or instead of lemon in tea. “Many people mistakenly believe all acid reflux and indigestion is caused by an overproduction of acid. The latest research shows it's actually the opposite for many people: There is too little acid produced to adequately digest the food eaten,” says Christina K. Major, holistic nutritionist and naturopathic doctor in Trevorton, Pa. Pickles, sauerkraut and other highly acidic foods also work well to help stimulate acid.
8. Eat a Red Delicious apple after problematic meals.
9. “Supplement with Saccharomyces boulardii, a probiotic strain specifically for the small intestine, to help optimize absorption of key vitamins for optimal digestive health,” says Stella Metsovas, author of “The 21 Day Digestive Health Detox.”
10. Take the herbal supplement slippery elm in capsule, powder or lozenge form, as it soothes the irritated tissues of the digestive tract.
11. Chamomile, mint or fenugreek tea may help reduce acid reflux symptoms.
12. Chew a stick of gum after meals to increase saliva production, which research shows can reduce acid levels in the esophagus.
13. Sleep on your left side. Studies found sleeping on your stomach or right side can cause additional pressure that increases GERD symptoms. Left-side sleepers report relief.
Here are six more tips from Dr. Jamie Koufman, professor of clinical otolaryngology at New York Eye and Ear Infirmary of the New York Medical College and author of “Dropping Acid: The Reflux Diet Cookbook and Cure”: Quit smoking, don't wear clothing that is too tight, don't exercise directly after a meal, don't lie down right after eating or eat within three hours of bedtime, and elevate the head of your bed if you're a nighttime refluxer.
Please don't kill the bees
This is super important so PLEASE read and share : now that spring is in full swing and summer is approaching, if you see something like this do NOT call the exterminator. Call a beekeeper and they will relocate the bees for you. Bees are the most efficient and effective pollinators and they are unfortunately becoming endangered because people keep killing them. Bees are largely responsible for the pollination of most of the world's fruits, vegetables and nuts so without bees we don't have any of those foods. When bees swarm like this it's because they're about to relocate somewhere else and they are highly UNLIKELY to sting you in this state because they don't have a hive or babies to protect. Bees are our friends, please don't kill them. Call a beekeeper or your local animal control service to RELOCATE them. Thank you.
Saturday, May 23, 2015
Food for Thought : Memorial Day
Although technically summer does no start for another month , Memorial Day marks unofficial start of the season . Summer is synonymous with barbecues , grilling and fresh fruit. The mention of summer conjures up thoughts of hamburgers , lemonade , ice cream and , of course , bathing suits .
Keeping healthy habits throughout the summer can be easy if you do a little planning ahead . Here are a few tips to help you healthfully navigate your summer menus .
1 . Load up on in-season vegetables :
Squash , cucumbers , tomatoes and green beans are abundant this time of year . the are low calorie and filling . Pre-meal snacking on these is great to help curb our appetite.
2 . Cook once and eat several times :
If you are going to fire up the grill , you might as well get the most bang for you buck . Cook hamburgers for today , some chicken for lunch salads this week , vegetables for breakfast omelets , and so forth . Get creative with your menu planning .
3 . Use different marinades :
To keep leftovers from seeming repetitive . Use light-tasting vinaigretes for meats you plan to use in salads and more savoy ones for entree meats .
4 . Make your side with a fruit , vegetable or plant based foods :
A cool three bean salad or simple sliced cucumbers make a healthful and flavorful dish .
Grilled Garden Vegetables and Smoked Sausage
Ingredients
1 regular size package Eckrich® Smoked Sausage
1 medium red bell pepper, seeded, quartered
1 medium yellow bell pepper, seeded, quartered
1 medium green bell pepper, seeded, quartered
1 large summer squash, halved lengthwise
1 large zucchini, halved lengthwise
1 large sweet onion, cut into 1/2-inch-thick slices (Do not separate into rings)
1/4 cup olive oil
1/2 cup sun-dried tomato dressing
1 . Spray cold grate of outdoor grill with grilling spray. Prepare grill for medium heat. Brush bell peppers, squash, zucchini and onions with oil. Place vegetables and sausage on grate of grill; cover grill with lid.
2 . Grill 12 minutes, or until sausage is heated through and vegetables are crisp-tender, turning after 6 minutes.
3 . Remove sausage and vegetables from grill; cut into large pieces.
4 . Place sausage and vegetables on large platter. Drizzle with dressing. Serve warm.
Words of Wisdom :
For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.
One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood.
Memorial Day isn't just about honoring veterans, its honoring those who lost their lives. Veterans had the fortune of coming home. For us, that's a reminder of when we come home we still have a responsibility to serve. It's a continuation of service that honors our country and those who fell defending it.
137 years later, Memorial Day remains one of America's most cherished patriotic observances. The spirit of this day has not changed - it remains a day to honor those who died defending our freedom and democracy.
A proud grand-poppa G.
Keeping healthy habits throughout the summer can be easy if you do a little planning ahead . Here are a few tips to help you healthfully navigate your summer menus .
1 . Load up on in-season vegetables :
Squash , cucumbers , tomatoes and green beans are abundant this time of year . the are low calorie and filling . Pre-meal snacking on these is great to help curb our appetite.
2 . Cook once and eat several times :
If you are going to fire up the grill , you might as well get the most bang for you buck . Cook hamburgers for today , some chicken for lunch salads this week , vegetables for breakfast omelets , and so forth . Get creative with your menu planning .
3 . Use different marinades :
To keep leftovers from seeming repetitive . Use light-tasting vinaigretes for meats you plan to use in salads and more savoy ones for entree meats .
4 . Make your side with a fruit , vegetable or plant based foods :
A cool three bean salad or simple sliced cucumbers make a healthful and flavorful dish .
Grilled Garden Vegetables and Smoked Sausage
Grilled smoke sausage served with grilled bell peppers, summer squash, zucchini and onions.
Prep / Total Time: 50 minutes Makes 6 servings Ingredients
1 regular size package Eckrich® Smoked Sausage
1 medium red bell pepper, seeded, quartered
1 medium yellow bell pepper, seeded, quartered
1 medium green bell pepper, seeded, quartered
1 large summer squash, halved lengthwise
1 large zucchini, halved lengthwise
1 large sweet onion, cut into 1/2-inch-thick slices (Do not separate into rings)
1/4 cup olive oil
1/2 cup sun-dried tomato dressing
1 . Spray cold grate of outdoor grill with grilling spray. Prepare grill for medium heat. Brush bell peppers, squash, zucchini and onions with oil. Place vegetables and sausage on grate of grill; cover grill with lid.
2 . Grill 12 minutes, or until sausage is heated through and vegetables are crisp-tender, turning after 6 minutes.
3 . Remove sausage and vegetables from grill; cut into large pieces.
4 . Place sausage and vegetables on large platter. Drizzle with dressing. Serve warm.
Words of Wisdom :
For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.
One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood.
Memorial Day isn't just about honoring veterans, its honoring those who lost their lives. Veterans had the fortune of coming home. For us, that's a reminder of when we come home we still have a responsibility to serve. It's a continuation of service that honors our country and those who fell defending it.
137 years later, Memorial Day remains one of America's most cherished patriotic observances. The spirit of this day has not changed - it remains a day to honor those who died defending our freedom and democracy.
A proud grand-poppa G.
Thursday, May 21, 2015
Ask Maxy
Dear Maxy ,
My husband is ill and a distant family member from out of state decided to pay us a visit . It was nice to see my husband's cousin because he was able to lift my husband spirits in this time of need . A few months after our guest visited our home , we discovered we had bedbugs . I call the exterminator, he went to the guest room and confirmed how long we had them . I am thinking there is a strong possibility that we got them from our houseguest . (we rarely have houseguests these days and he was the only sleepover guest in a few years.)
It has been a nightmare around here for close to a year trying to get rid of them and I think we have seen the last of them . Now my cousin wants to visit us in the next two months . What can we say or do to prevent this from happening again without offending anybody ?
Bedbugs do Bite
Dear Bedbugs Do Bite ,
What an awkward situation ! Bedbugs can indeed hitch a ride in luggage. They can hide in a crevice no thicker than a credit card. They can even arrive in the binding of a book. It is so difficult to eradicate an infestation, you don't want to risk it happening again.
Bedbugs do not bite everyone. Some people can live with them and never be bothered by them so it is possible your relative is not even aware that he is a carrier. Perhaps you can approach it that way....be sensitive, direct, but assume he does not know.
Tell him how much you and your husband enjoyed his visit and would like to see him again. But before that happens, he should have his premises checked for his own well-being in case, on his travels, he picked up bedbugs from some hotel, restaurant or luggage compartment on a plane. Tell him you found some in the room he occupied and to be on the safe side, you would like to be assured that he is free of infestation before he visits again.
Apologize if he seems offended but be firm. After that, the invitations have to be at your discretion.
Maxy
Dear Maxy ,
My fiancé and I are in a long -distance military relationship . We have discussed eloping to Las Vegas so I can move to be with him . My father is not enthusiastic about it He would like to be there for my wedding , but my fiancé comes from a large family . Eloping would be our way of not excluding anyone . I feel guilty for wanting this to be just the two of us . Should I plan a small wedding for my father's sake or have a reception when we get back ?
Lets Get Married Today
Dear Let's Get Married Today .
You and your fiance have to make a plan that works best for you. After all it is your wedding and you and your fiancé come first. If you wish to elope then that's what you should do. After that, to the best of your ability, try to accommodate both families .
Is there a way that you can arrange a small wedding with just both sets of parents present? If not, then when you get back, you can give a reception for everyone . Explain to your father your decision for eloping and ask him to host the reception so that he will be central in the unveiling of the newly married couple . Congratulations!
Maxy
Dear Maxy ,
I am so afraid for my sons . I have two teenage boys and everyday they go outside I worry because there are just two many black boys being killed . Sometimes the killers are police. Other times they are neighbors , gang members or seemingly random people .
It's so crazy that I don't even know what to tell them anymore . I don't want them to be afraid , nor do I want to be . But I can't bear the news out there .
Two many boys that look like my sons have been slaughtered meaninglessly and their killers not brought to justice . What can I do ?
Protect My Boys
Dear Protect My Boys ,
Teach them the lessons that have been resonating throughout our nation . When approached by police , do not run , do not raise your voice , do not reach into your pockets . Speak as little as possible, be polite, calm and follow instructions .
As it relates to others , do your best to avoid bad company .
Do not put yourself in a situation or place that could be questionable from a legal perspective or a safety point of view. Do not travel at night, or if you have to, do not go out alone. Pay attention to your surroundings and leave immediately if you feel uncomfortable or unsafe . Always check in with your parents at regular intervals when you are away. Walk with confidence but not attitude.
As a parent, you can speak with other parents in your neighborhood and set up a 'neighborhood watch', where any of the kids in your area can run to a safe house when they feel in danger. All safe houses would display a 'safe symbol' on their door or window. Looking out for each others' kids is one of the best things you can do.
Maxy
Dear Maxy ,
I had the idea of surprising my dad with a visit . I live across country and was scheduled to be in his town for work .
He and my mom is divorced, so I don't see him to often, even though I think of us as close . We talk every week like clockwork .
So I showed up at his door and rang the bell and wouldn't you know it , a woman answered the door , I was shocked .
He hasn't said a thing about a girlfriend , not that he has to , but this woman looked like she was pretty comfortable in his house .
He wasn't home and I opted not to stay . I left town the next day . Like I said , it was a business trip .
Now it's weird . I am not sure how to address this with my dad .
Having the Conversation
Dear Having The Conversation ,
First of all, you should have left your dad a message at his house, just to let him know you stopped by, so he would know that you are aware of his domestic arrangements.
Be an adult and be direct . Call your father . Tell him you came to visit him as a surprise, and you were the one who ended up surprised . Ask him who the lady is who answered the door . Ask him if he would be uncomfortable if you visited when you were in town.
While it's really not your concern if he is dating or has someone staying with him , I'm sure if you talk to your father respectfully, he will explain ... and tell you why he has kept the information to himself . Go for it .
Maxy
My husband is ill and a distant family member from out of state decided to pay us a visit . It was nice to see my husband's cousin because he was able to lift my husband spirits in this time of need . A few months after our guest visited our home , we discovered we had bedbugs . I call the exterminator, he went to the guest room and confirmed how long we had them . I am thinking there is a strong possibility that we got them from our houseguest . (we rarely have houseguests these days and he was the only sleepover guest in a few years.)
It has been a nightmare around here for close to a year trying to get rid of them and I think we have seen the last of them . Now my cousin wants to visit us in the next two months . What can we say or do to prevent this from happening again without offending anybody ?
Bedbugs do Bite
Dear Bedbugs Do Bite ,
What an awkward situation ! Bedbugs can indeed hitch a ride in luggage. They can hide in a crevice no thicker than a credit card. They can even arrive in the binding of a book. It is so difficult to eradicate an infestation, you don't want to risk it happening again.
Bedbugs do not bite everyone. Some people can live with them and never be bothered by them so it is possible your relative is not even aware that he is a carrier. Perhaps you can approach it that way....be sensitive, direct, but assume he does not know.
Tell him how much you and your husband enjoyed his visit and would like to see him again. But before that happens, he should have his premises checked for his own well-being in case, on his travels, he picked up bedbugs from some hotel, restaurant or luggage compartment on a plane. Tell him you found some in the room he occupied and to be on the safe side, you would like to be assured that he is free of infestation before he visits again.
Apologize if he seems offended but be firm. After that, the invitations have to be at your discretion.
Maxy
Dear Maxy ,
My fiancé and I are in a long -distance military relationship . We have discussed eloping to Las Vegas so I can move to be with him . My father is not enthusiastic about it He would like to be there for my wedding , but my fiancé comes from a large family . Eloping would be our way of not excluding anyone . I feel guilty for wanting this to be just the two of us . Should I plan a small wedding for my father's sake or have a reception when we get back ?
Lets Get Married Today
Dear Let's Get Married Today .
You and your fiance have to make a plan that works best for you. After all it is your wedding and you and your fiancé come first. If you wish to elope then that's what you should do. After that, to the best of your ability, try to accommodate both families .
Is there a way that you can arrange a small wedding with just both sets of parents present? If not, then when you get back, you can give a reception for everyone . Explain to your father your decision for eloping and ask him to host the reception so that he will be central in the unveiling of the newly married couple . Congratulations!
Maxy
I am so afraid for my sons . I have two teenage boys and everyday they go outside I worry because there are just two many black boys being killed . Sometimes the killers are police. Other times they are neighbors , gang members or seemingly random people .
It's so crazy that I don't even know what to tell them anymore . I don't want them to be afraid , nor do I want to be . But I can't bear the news out there .
Two many boys that look like my sons have been slaughtered meaninglessly and their killers not brought to justice . What can I do ?
Protect My Boys
Dear Protect My Boys ,
Teach them the lessons that have been resonating throughout our nation . When approached by police , do not run , do not raise your voice , do not reach into your pockets . Speak as little as possible, be polite, calm and follow instructions .
As it relates to others , do your best to avoid bad company .
Do not put yourself in a situation or place that could be questionable from a legal perspective or a safety point of view. Do not travel at night, or if you have to, do not go out alone. Pay attention to your surroundings and leave immediately if you feel uncomfortable or unsafe . Always check in with your parents at regular intervals when you are away. Walk with confidence but not attitude.
As a parent, you can speak with other parents in your neighborhood and set up a 'neighborhood watch', where any of the kids in your area can run to a safe house when they feel in danger. All safe houses would display a 'safe symbol' on their door or window. Looking out for each others' kids is one of the best things you can do.
Maxy
I had the idea of surprising my dad with a visit . I live across country and was scheduled to be in his town for work .
He and my mom is divorced, so I don't see him to often, even though I think of us as close . We talk every week like clockwork .
So I showed up at his door and rang the bell and wouldn't you know it , a woman answered the door , I was shocked .
He hasn't said a thing about a girlfriend , not that he has to , but this woman looked like she was pretty comfortable in his house .
He wasn't home and I opted not to stay . I left town the next day . Like I said , it was a business trip .
Now it's weird . I am not sure how to address this with my dad .
Having the Conversation
Dear Having The Conversation ,
First of all, you should have left your dad a message at his house, just to let him know you stopped by, so he would know that you are aware of his domestic arrangements.
Be an adult and be direct . Call your father . Tell him you came to visit him as a surprise, and you were the one who ended up surprised . Ask him who the lady is who answered the door . Ask him if he would be uncomfortable if you visited when you were in town.
While it's really not your concern if he is dating or has someone staying with him , I'm sure if you talk to your father respectfully, he will explain ... and tell you why he has kept the information to himself . Go for it .
Maxy
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
I could not believe my eyes when i saw this photo
Natural Childbirth
This Photo Could Save Your Life: The Subtle Sign That Tipped This Woman Off to Breast Cancer
Lisa Royle warned the world of just how subtle breast cancer can be, in a photo that’s now gone viral.
When we think of breast cancer, we tend to think of a lump or mass. But sometimes a cancer can present in the subtlest of ways — something Lisa Royle of Manchester now knows well.
Lisa Royle's breast selfie has gone viral [Facebook/Lisa Royle]
The 42-year-old mother posted a photo of her breast to Facebook just before her mastectomy, which has now been shared more than 57,000 times and liked 35,000 times. She wanted to share the single symptom that tipped her off to a growing cancer: a measly dimple.
“Ok so I never thought I’d post a boob picture on Facebook but I thought I would before it gets chopped off next week,” Royle writes. “So here it is….. This all that I found on my boob. Very subtle dimples underneath that could easily be missed when we’re all rushing round getting ready in a morning.”
Lisa Royle's posted a breast selfie to help other women detect signs of cancer [Facebook/Lisa Royle]
Luckily, though, Royle noticed that tiny little indicator that something was off in her body. She had her mastectomy this week and is now recovering. “Please take time to check your boobs,” she writes. It could save your life.”
According to Susan K. Boolbol, MD, Chief of the Division of Breast Surgery at Mount Sinai Beth Israel, even a subtle dimple should send off an alarms. “As a cancer grows, it can pull the skin in,” she tells Yahoo Health. “It is the same thing that can cause the nipple to become inverted.”
The picture Lisa posted to Facebook of the subtle dimpling on her breast [Facebook/Lisa Royle]
The lesson here, however, is not just the dimpling. It’s that any and all changes in the breast, even subtle ones, needs to be evaluated. “Women need to get familiar with their own bodies and breasts,” Boolbol says. “Even a small change needs to get checked out, and you don’t have to wait six months to do it.”
Boolbol says that most women expect to feel a lump with cancer, but other signs should be noted, as well. These subtler, lesser-known symptoms includes growing redness, a change in the skin texture (almost like an orange peel), a sudden change in the size of one breast, a rash on the nipple, or leakage from the nipple that occurs without squeezing or applying pressure.
Lisa has since had a mastectomy to remove her breast [Facebook/Lisa Royle]
Breast cancer has been in the news a lot lately, from Angelina Jolie’s important insights on BRCA mutations to Rita Wilson’s pursuit of a second opinion on pathology – which eventually led to her diagnosis.
Boolbol says that, although there hasn’t been an increase in breast cancer diagnoses, we’re all doing a better job of getting the word out about the many ways breast cancer can touch us. “It’s a better awareness,” she says. “And this allows women to pick up on even the subtle signs.”
From Angelina Jolie to Lisa Royle, continuously reopening the conversation about breast cancer is what saves lives.
Monday, May 18, 2015
Jane Fonda's secret to ageless beauty and staying fit
Jane Fonda may be a fitness icon, but it wasn’t until she was in her mid 40s that the prolific actor started doing the aerobics routines that propelled her to a whole new level of fame.
The creator of Jane Fonda’s Original Workout—which became the top-selling VHS tape of all time—tells Yahoo Canada Shine that ballet was what kept her fit up until then.
“Ballet was my exercise because there was nothing else,” Fonda says on the line from L.A., with her dog, Tulea, barking in the background. “If you went to a health club, there would be the men’s gym and there was nothing for women.”Fonda, of course, went on to become as well-known for her leg warmers and one-piece body suits as her appearances in films like “On Golden Pond” and the more recent Netflix series “Grace and Frankie." It all started during the filming of China Syndrome with Michael Douglas in 1979. She had a broken foot and couldn’t do her ballet-barre moves. Once her foot started to heal, Fonda began doing her own series of exercises, which launched her passion for fitness and her blockbuster line of workout videos.
“It was like a revolution in my body and in my mind,” Fonda says. “Ballet was great, but I couldn’t believe one could have this kind of control over your body.”
She began teaching fitness while on location to members of the cast and crew. As word got out, other people started to come to her classes. Her book, Jane Fonda’s Workout, was on the New York Times bestseller list for two years. With the release of her first exercise videotape in 1982, she singlehandedly kick-started a whole new industry and has gone on to inspire millions of people to start exercising.
The Jane Fonda Workout series consisted of 22 titles and sold more than 17 million copies. Five of her original and most popular videos are now being re-released on DVD. Aside from the original, there’s Jane Fonda’s New Workout, Easy Going Workout, Low Impact workout, and Complete Workout. She has also recently completed a new six-DVD workout set for older people called Prime Time.
While the health benefits of exercise are well-known, Fonda says she’s still amazed by how it can so deeply and positively affect people’s physical, mental, and emotional well-being.
Jane Fonda and Michael Douglas in 'The China Syndrome' (Photo by Columbia Pictures/Getty Images)
“I suffered from eating disorders…and I had very low self-esteem, which is why I have such compassion for women around these issues; I’ve been there,” she says. “I had gone cold turkey in terms of binge eating about a year before I started the workouts. It was really hard….For me, the workout allowed me to maintain sobriety, if you will. It gave me the wherewithal to not slide back. And it gave me a lot of confidence.
“I watched women as they came through the doors of my studio and how they would become transformed,” she adds. “The workout was very, very empowering to women and allowed them to really take control, to a large degree, of their health and their attitudes about themselves. It’s like you draw a circle around yourself and you say ‘I’m here. Deal with it.’”
Now 77, Fonda isn’t doing the kind of vigorous aerobics routines that earned her so many fans. With a family history of arthritis, she has had a knee and a hip replaced. But that doesn’t mean she’s inactive.
“The worst mistake someone can make is say, ‘Oh, gosh, I can’t do what I was doing so I just won’t do anything.’ Wrong,” she says. “You’ve got to keep moving.
“I don’t run; I walk. I don’t downhill ski; I cross country ski when I can. I don’t ride horses anymore. There’s a lot of stuff I don’t do, but I use lighter weights, I use resistance bands, I do Pilates very gently.”
Core training, in fact, is her main focus now, paying special attention very small and specific muscles that that help stabilize the pelvis.
“The smaller muscles are what keep your pelvis and your back in alignment,” Fonda says. “When you’re not in alignment, everything starts going, like the domino effect. I pay a lot of attention to the gluteus medius and the VMO [the vastus medialis oblique muscle, which is part of the quadriceps], as well as my shoulders, back, pelvis. These are the things I these I work on really hard but do it very gently, I work out slowly, and I don’t do curls because I have to be very careful of my back. You have to keep moving. It can make all the difference in quality of your life as you get older.”
Fonda at the 2015 Grammys (Photo by Dan MacMedan/WireImage)
Ask anyone and they’ll say Fonda looks two decades younger than her actual age (remember that sexy outfit she wore to this year’s Grammys?).
Diet plays a huge role in Fonda’s health and beauty. She typically eats a large, nutritious breakfast, whether it’s soft-boiled or poached eggs, whole-grain cereal or toast, yogurt, or fresh fruit. She eats a late lunch and a very light dinner, if she has dinner at all.
“I try not to have sugars,” she says. “I try to eat fresh foods. I try to eat something dark green and dark purple, and a variety of colours, every day. I don’t go to bed without having something dark green, dark purple, red, orange, or yellow.”
Her advice for people who may find it too tough to fit in regular exercise into their demanding daily schedules is this: remember that anything is better than nothing.
“I know that it’s very hard. It’s hard to find the time, but find even if it’s just a little time, 20 minutes, just to move, it will make all the difference in the world for how long you’ll live, for the quality of your life, and how you feel you will,” she says. “You will feel so much better.”
“I know that it’s very hard. It’s hard to find the time, but find even if it’s just a little time, 20 minutes, just to move, it will make all the difference in the world for how long you’ll live, for the quality of your life, and how you feel you will,” she says. “You will feel so much better.”
Saturday, May 16, 2015
Food for Thought : Well Equipped Kitchen
Take a shopping trip to a home or kitchen supply store ( I did recently with my daughter) and you may start to feel overwhelmed .
The large selection of specialized tools and gadgets can evoke a feeling of nervousness and confusion . Having a properly quipped kitchen with the tools you need to prepare nuttritious and delicious meals isn't as hard (or expensive) as you may think . Here are a few tips to get your kitchen stocked and ready for preparing wonderful meals.
1 . Make sure your cabinets , drawers and shelves are clean :
You should wipe them down on a regular basis with a sanitizing solution and let them air dry . The best tools and gadgets aren't any good if they spread bacteria and germs . Make sure you clean sinks and drains , too .
2 . Knives stored in a butcher block :
May look attractive on your counter , but you really only need three basic types of knives . A chef's knife (about 10 inches long ) , a serrated knife and a paring knife . When buying knifes , look for ones that feel comfortable and natural in your hands . Purchasing good quality knives a good investment .
3 . Cutting boards made from plastic :
They are inexpensive and durable . They are also easy to clean . Look for mixing bowls that nest inside each other to save space . These are usually very inexpensive and will last a long time .
4 . Quality cookware is important :
You don't have to purchase an expensive set . But only the pieces you need or think you will use . While non-stick cookware can be good for those who are just learning to cook , you must make sure to take proper care of it . Never use metal utensils on coated cookware if the coating is starting to chip away .
5 . As you are building your kitchen inventory :
Buy items slowly and on an as needed basis . Adding to your inventory slowly will give you time to learn to use the new tool and you will be less likely to become overwhelmed .
Words of Wisdom :
Just as treasures are uncovered from the earth, so virtue appears from good deeds, and wisdom appears from a pure and peaceful mind. To walk safely through the maze of human life, one needs the light of wisdom and the guidance of virtue.
If a country is to be corruption free and become a nation of beautiful minds, I strongly feel there are three key societal members who can make a difference. They are the father, the mother and the teacher.
A wise man once said you must always be intolerant of ignorance but understanding of illiteracy. That some people, unable to go to school, were more educated and more intelligent than college professors .
Infuse your life with action. Don't wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs, honor your creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what you can to make grace happen... yourself, right now, right down here on Earth.
Just as treasures are uncovered from the earth, so virtue appears from good deeds, and wisdom appears from a pure and peaceful mind. To walk safely through the maze of human life, one needs the light of wisdom and the guidance of virtue.
A proud grand-poppa G.
The large selection of specialized tools and gadgets can evoke a feeling of nervousness and confusion . Having a properly quipped kitchen with the tools you need to prepare nuttritious and delicious meals isn't as hard (or expensive) as you may think . Here are a few tips to get your kitchen stocked and ready for preparing wonderful meals.
1 . Make sure your cabinets , drawers and shelves are clean :
You should wipe them down on a regular basis with a sanitizing solution and let them air dry . The best tools and gadgets aren't any good if they spread bacteria and germs . Make sure you clean sinks and drains , too .
2 . Knives stored in a butcher block :
May look attractive on your counter , but you really only need three basic types of knives . A chef's knife (about 10 inches long ) , a serrated knife and a paring knife . When buying knifes , look for ones that feel comfortable and natural in your hands . Purchasing good quality knives a good investment .
3 . Cutting boards made from plastic :
They are inexpensive and durable . They are also easy to clean . Look for mixing bowls that nest inside each other to save space . These are usually very inexpensive and will last a long time .
4 . Quality cookware is important :
You don't have to purchase an expensive set . But only the pieces you need or think you will use . While non-stick cookware can be good for those who are just learning to cook , you must make sure to take proper care of it . Never use metal utensils on coated cookware if the coating is starting to chip away .
5 . As you are building your kitchen inventory :
Buy items slowly and on an as needed basis . Adding to your inventory slowly will give you time to learn to use the new tool and you will be less likely to become overwhelmed .
Words of Wisdom :
Just as treasures are uncovered from the earth, so virtue appears from good deeds, and wisdom appears from a pure and peaceful mind. To walk safely through the maze of human life, one needs the light of wisdom and the guidance of virtue.
If a country is to be corruption free and become a nation of beautiful minds, I strongly feel there are three key societal members who can make a difference. They are the father, the mother and the teacher.
A wise man once said you must always be intolerant of ignorance but understanding of illiteracy. That some people, unable to go to school, were more educated and more intelligent than college professors .
Infuse your life with action. Don't wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs, honor your creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what you can to make grace happen... yourself, right now, right down here on Earth.
Just as treasures are uncovered from the earth, so virtue appears from good deeds, and wisdom appears from a pure and peaceful mind. To walk safely through the maze of human life, one needs the light of wisdom and the guidance of virtue.
A proud grand-poppa G.
Friday, May 15, 2015
Bully's Powerful Apology to Student He Tormented — 20 Years Later
ChadMichael Morrisette got an apology recently from one of his junior high bullies. (Photo: ChadMichael Morrisette)
A man who was bullied in junior high received an unexpected apology – 20 years after the fact – when one of his tormentors recently reached out via Facebook to make amends.
ChadMichael Morrisette, a 34-year-old brand consultant and visual designer in West Hollywood, grew up in small-town Alaska. “The entire football team bullied me,” he tells Yahoo Parenting. “It wasn’t one guy, it was six or seven guys who would follow me in the hallways, harassing me, insulting me, threatening my life.”
Morrisette left home when he was 15, and says life got better quickly after that, and he hasn’t reflected much on his bullied childhood since. That is, not until May 5, when he woke up to a surprise message on Facebook.
The note was from Louie Amundson, whom Morrisette says he doesn’t specifically remember. “But that’s because there were so many bullies it was hard to name them all,” he says. Morrisette says it took a couple of days for him to process the true meaning of the message. “It unlocked something in me I didn’t realize I’d been holding onto. I cried a little bit. It was so moving.”
Thanx Yahoo
Thursday, May 14, 2015
Ask Maxy
Dear Maxy,
I just learned that my boyfriend has a gambling addiction . I have been trying to figure out what was going on . He would get paid and then disappear for days at a time and then always be broke . He is good at making up excuses . In fact , they have been so good in making up excuses that I often have given him extra money to help out .
Well , I just saw some of his bills and he hadn't paid a lot of them for months . Plus , I saw receipts from a casino on several occasions . When I asked him about it , he admitted he likes to gamble . When I pressed him , he said that he is in debt because of it . What should I do ? I thought we were going to be a serious couple and get married , but now I don't know . I can't marry an active gambler . What can I do ?
Dating a Gambler
Dear Dating a Gambler,
In moderation, gambling is socially acceptable behavior. However, when the impulse to gamble can’t be controlled, to the point of hurting oneself or others, it becomes a compulsion or a gambling addiction. And just like an alcoholic, gamblers have to feed the addiction, regardless of the consequences. The compulsion continues to get stronger, and without help, he will not be able to stop. It's encouraging that your boyfriend told you the truth, at least in part, about his problem . Now it's your turn to put your foot down . Tell him you care about him, but make it clear that you are unwilling to make a commitment to him if he doesn't clean up his act .
Suggest he go to Gambler's Anonymous for counseling . It is a twelve-step program for people who have a gambling addiction.
(gamblersanonymous.org ) You can access meeting information for your state by calling the National Hotline at: 1-888-424-3577.
He will be among people with same obsession as himself and may get a reality shock as he realizes he is like them.
He has to recognize that he has a problem and want to get help. If not, he will not follow through with the program or any kind of counseling.
You may have to take a step back from the relationship until he realizes the gravity of his problem and takes action . It often takes an extreme situation for an addict to make a change . It is not healthy for you to be in this relationship, as it stands.
Further assistance can be found at: http://www.psychguides.com/guides/how-to-help-someone-with-a-gambling-problem/
Maxy
Dear Maxy ,
I am an 83-year-old widow in good health . My daughter lives about two hours away . She is 50 and well educated and has been in a long term relationship with an older retired man . She does a lot of caregiving for him and his family members .
Three years ago my daughter lost her job during an economic downturn and has made no attempt to find other employment . I have been giving her money every month and paid for a course in massage therapy , but she has not attempted to find a job in that field . She received insurance money to repair her home when it was flooded over the winter , but she hasn't done the repairs . Instead , she camps out at her boyfriend's apartment . When I ask , she will come and help me with certain things .
She is my only child and there are no other close relatives . I am not wealthy , but am comfortable . My daughter will inherit trust money and my house when I die , and this bothers me . I don't want what my husband and I worked and planned for to eventually go to her boyfriend and his family . I am thinking of changing my trust , leaving her a fixed amount and giving the rest to charity . Are there other alternatives ?
A.
Dear A. ,
There are always alternatives . You could leave your daughter the house and trust, but only under certain conditions, in order to exclude the boyfriend and his family. An estate attorney can easily frame all the legalities for you in a revised or new will. Although, that won't necessarily change how your daughter chooses to live her life . It sounds like she is discouraged, has come to an impasse in her life and can't move beyond it. Perhaps you can get her to open up about it to you. See if you can encourage her to get moving again and definitely inform her you cannot go on subsidizing her lifestyle indefinitely. In fact, that may be one of the reasons she has come to a standstill....you are making things too easy for her.
There is certainly nothing wrong with giving some (or all) of your money to a charity that does some good in the world . The attorney will help you figure out the various possibilities and put them in writing .
Maxy
Dear Maxy ,
I have seen my sister gradually change from a simple packrat into a full-fledged hoarder . When I mentioned my concerns to her , she gets defensive and tells me it's OK , that is just how they live now .
I am especially worried about her children growing up in clutter and filth . To further complicate issues , my sister recently acquired a puppy and allows him to do his business all over the house .
I feel sorry for her . She suffers from depression and is on medication , but it's not enough . What Can I do to help her when she seems to be in denial ?
Worried Sis
Dear Worried ,
Your sister's medication can not handle all her issues sufficiently. Hoarding is a compulsive mental disorder and has to be treated by a doctor or health provider who is a specialized therapist in this field. Forced "clean outs" of the individual's home are extremely distressing and not effective in the long run, as the person does not learn how to combat the disorder and will give in to the compulsion again, resulting in another accumulation of stuff.
Hoarding can be a symptom of another disorder, such as : OCD
(obsessive-compulsive disorder) ADHD (attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder) depression, or grief. Accumulating things can give hoarders a sense of security and safety. Hoarding deflects their focus from the thought processes that cause their distress and anxiety.
They are hard to help because they do not recognize they have a problem and will not seek help on their own. As you are a close relative, it would be okay for you to speak to your sister's family doctor and get some referrals from him. Some communities have agencies that help with hoarding problems. Check with your local or county government for resources or 'Hoarding Task Force' in your area.
You may also need to contact local authorities, such as fire, public health and child protective services, especially when health or safety is in question. The effects of hoarding on the children can be drastic, emotionally and physically and can socially isolate them along with their mother. They should be removed from that environment until their mother shows some improvement.
For further information for yourself and other family members, check: http://www.psychiatry.org/hoarding-disorder or http://hoarding.iocdf.org/community_services.aspx - to locate resources in your area go to - http://iocdf.org/find-help/
For self help pointers that you can assist her with, go to - http://www.helpforhoarders.co.uk/self-help/
Maxy
Dear Maxy ,
I have been overwhelmed for several months now . I just can't seem to get my life together . I lost my job a few months ago , and I have been looking for a job with no luck so far . I am single and have no one to help me . I honestly don't know how much longer I can take this . I feel like I just shut down at every turn .
Friends were helping me out here and there , but I feel horrible about asking for their help . Plus , they are barely making ends meet themselves . I got on food stamps recently , but I hate that too . I feel like a mess . I went to the doctor about it and was prescribed some depression medicine . I am afraid to take it , though , because I'm afraid I won't get another job if an employer finds out that I take meds . What can I do ?
Stuck
Dear Stuck ,
Thank you for sharing your situation . You have done the right thing by speaking of your pain out loud . It is also great that you went to the doctor to be evaluated . You should take your meds. They will help you stabilize your emotions. Getting healthy is the first and most important requirement for you to turn your life around . Find a way to continue seeing a mental health professional who can help guide you . You can - and will fix this.
If you cannot afford to pay for counseling, did you know that dialing 211 in almost every part of the United States will connect you to human and social services for your area? The FCC's "Dial 211" info page outlines the types of services they offer, like housing and emergency shelter locations, mental health and work related counseling services. - https://www.fcc.gov/guides/dial-211-essential-community-services
If you go to church, check there for free counseling options in your community. Many churches even have funds to pay for therapy if one of their members needs it . If you want a shoulder to cry on and someone who will listen with compassion, try this website - http://www.7cupsoftea.com/. Another site with sympathetic and helpful volunteers - http://blahtherapy.com/.
To get help with affordable housing -
http://portal.hud.gov/hudportal/HUD?src=/program_offices/comm_planning/homeless
On the practical side, eat more peanut butter, remember rice is cheap and nourishing and don't forget KD's. That diet got me through school. Buy your clothes at thrift stores. Get outside and run; it's free and you'll get healthier. Keep in touch with people by volunteering. Job hunting can be discouraging but keep it up. An unemployed person is out of a job for an average of six months. You will find one.
You need a plan. Sit down and figure out what you want to do. Put aside the fact that you need money for a moment because that fact colors every thought in your head. If you could get up tomorrow and do the thing that makes you happy....what would it be? Now take the first step in that direction. Let me know how you are doing. Good luck,
Maxy
I just learned that my boyfriend has a gambling addiction . I have been trying to figure out what was going on . He would get paid and then disappear for days at a time and then always be broke . He is good at making up excuses . In fact , they have been so good in making up excuses that I often have given him extra money to help out .
Well , I just saw some of his bills and he hadn't paid a lot of them for months . Plus , I saw receipts from a casino on several occasions . When I asked him about it , he admitted he likes to gamble . When I pressed him , he said that he is in debt because of it . What should I do ? I thought we were going to be a serious couple and get married , but now I don't know . I can't marry an active gambler . What can I do ?
Dating a Gambler
Dear Dating a Gambler,
In moderation, gambling is socially acceptable behavior. However, when the impulse to gamble can’t be controlled, to the point of hurting oneself or others, it becomes a compulsion or a gambling addiction. And just like an alcoholic, gamblers have to feed the addiction, regardless of the consequences. The compulsion continues to get stronger, and without help, he will not be able to stop. It's encouraging that your boyfriend told you the truth, at least in part, about his problem . Now it's your turn to put your foot down . Tell him you care about him, but make it clear that you are unwilling to make a commitment to him if he doesn't clean up his act .
Suggest he go to Gambler's Anonymous for counseling . It is a twelve-step program for people who have a gambling addiction.
(gamblersanonymous.org ) You can access meeting information for your state by calling the National Hotline at: 1-888-424-3577.
He will be among people with same obsession as himself and may get a reality shock as he realizes he is like them.
He has to recognize that he has a problem and want to get help. If not, he will not follow through with the program or any kind of counseling.
You may have to take a step back from the relationship until he realizes the gravity of his problem and takes action . It often takes an extreme situation for an addict to make a change . It is not healthy for you to be in this relationship, as it stands.
Further assistance can be found at: http://www.psychguides.com/guides/how-to-help-someone-with-a-gambling-problem/
Maxy
Dear Maxy ,
I am an 83-year-old widow in good health . My daughter lives about two hours away . She is 50 and well educated and has been in a long term relationship with an older retired man . She does a lot of caregiving for him and his family members .
Three years ago my daughter lost her job during an economic downturn and has made no attempt to find other employment . I have been giving her money every month and paid for a course in massage therapy , but she has not attempted to find a job in that field . She received insurance money to repair her home when it was flooded over the winter , but she hasn't done the repairs . Instead , she camps out at her boyfriend's apartment . When I ask , she will come and help me with certain things .
She is my only child and there are no other close relatives . I am not wealthy , but am comfortable . My daughter will inherit trust money and my house when I die , and this bothers me . I don't want what my husband and I worked and planned for to eventually go to her boyfriend and his family . I am thinking of changing my trust , leaving her a fixed amount and giving the rest to charity . Are there other alternatives ?
A.
Dear A. ,
There are always alternatives . You could leave your daughter the house and trust, but only under certain conditions, in order to exclude the boyfriend and his family. An estate attorney can easily frame all the legalities for you in a revised or new will. Although, that won't necessarily change how your daughter chooses to live her life . It sounds like she is discouraged, has come to an impasse in her life and can't move beyond it. Perhaps you can get her to open up about it to you. See if you can encourage her to get moving again and definitely inform her you cannot go on subsidizing her lifestyle indefinitely. In fact, that may be one of the reasons she has come to a standstill....you are making things too easy for her.
There is certainly nothing wrong with giving some (or all) of your money to a charity that does some good in the world . The attorney will help you figure out the various possibilities and put them in writing .
Maxy
I have seen my sister gradually change from a simple packrat into a full-fledged hoarder . When I mentioned my concerns to her , she gets defensive and tells me it's OK , that is just how they live now .
I am especially worried about her children growing up in clutter and filth . To further complicate issues , my sister recently acquired a puppy and allows him to do his business all over the house .
I feel sorry for her . She suffers from depression and is on medication , but it's not enough . What Can I do to help her when she seems to be in denial ?
Worried Sis
Dear Worried ,
Your sister's medication can not handle all her issues sufficiently. Hoarding is a compulsive mental disorder and has to be treated by a doctor or health provider who is a specialized therapist in this field. Forced "clean outs" of the individual's home are extremely distressing and not effective in the long run, as the person does not learn how to combat the disorder and will give in to the compulsion again, resulting in another accumulation of stuff.
Hoarding can be a symptom of another disorder, such as : OCD
(obsessive-compulsive disorder) ADHD (attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder) depression, or grief. Accumulating things can give hoarders a sense of security and safety. Hoarding deflects their focus from the thought processes that cause their distress and anxiety.
They are hard to help because they do not recognize they have a problem and will not seek help on their own. As you are a close relative, it would be okay for you to speak to your sister's family doctor and get some referrals from him. Some communities have agencies that help with hoarding problems. Check with your local or county government for resources or 'Hoarding Task Force' in your area.
You may also need to contact local authorities, such as fire, public health and child protective services, especially when health or safety is in question. The effects of hoarding on the children can be drastic, emotionally and physically and can socially isolate them along with their mother. They should be removed from that environment until their mother shows some improvement.
For further information for yourself and other family members, check: http://www.psychiatry.org/hoarding-disorder or http://hoarding.iocdf.org/community_services.aspx - to locate resources in your area go to - http://iocdf.org/find-help/
For self help pointers that you can assist her with, go to - http://www.helpforhoarders.co.uk/self-help/
Maxy
I have been overwhelmed for several months now . I just can't seem to get my life together . I lost my job a few months ago , and I have been looking for a job with no luck so far . I am single and have no one to help me . I honestly don't know how much longer I can take this . I feel like I just shut down at every turn .
Friends were helping me out here and there , but I feel horrible about asking for their help . Plus , they are barely making ends meet themselves . I got on food stamps recently , but I hate that too . I feel like a mess . I went to the doctor about it and was prescribed some depression medicine . I am afraid to take it , though , because I'm afraid I won't get another job if an employer finds out that I take meds . What can I do ?
Stuck
Dear Stuck ,
Thank you for sharing your situation . You have done the right thing by speaking of your pain out loud . It is also great that you went to the doctor to be evaluated . You should take your meds. They will help you stabilize your emotions. Getting healthy is the first and most important requirement for you to turn your life around . Find a way to continue seeing a mental health professional who can help guide you . You can - and will fix this.
If you cannot afford to pay for counseling, did you know that dialing 211 in almost every part of the United States will connect you to human and social services for your area? The FCC's "Dial 211" info page outlines the types of services they offer, like housing and emergency shelter locations, mental health and work related counseling services. - https://www.fcc.gov/guides/dial-211-essential-community-services
If you go to church, check there for free counseling options in your community. Many churches even have funds to pay for therapy if one of their members needs it . If you want a shoulder to cry on and someone who will listen with compassion, try this website - http://www.7cupsoftea.com/. Another site with sympathetic and helpful volunteers - http://blahtherapy.com/.
To get help with affordable housing -
http://portal.hud.gov/hudportal/HUD?src=/program_offices/comm_planning/homeless
On the practical side, eat more peanut butter, remember rice is cheap and nourishing and don't forget KD's. That diet got me through school. Buy your clothes at thrift stores. Get outside and run; it's free and you'll get healthier. Keep in touch with people by volunteering. Job hunting can be discouraging but keep it up. An unemployed person is out of a job for an average of six months. You will find one.
You need a plan. Sit down and figure out what you want to do. Put aside the fact that you need money for a moment because that fact colors every thought in your head. If you could get up tomorrow and do the thing that makes you happy....what would it be? Now take the first step in that direction. Let me know how you are doing. Good luck,
Maxy
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
A Dream Come True....You Can Lose Weight While You Sleep
Sleep! Glorious sleep!
Simply, it has been proven that we can lose weight while we catch some zzzs. Sleep can tip the scale -- as long as it’s done right. Here’s everything you need to know about putting your metabolism to work after drifting off to sleep.
Sleep it off
When I was young, I wore bags under my eyes like badges of honour. “Look I can be hardcore and stay up all night!” Well, those days are over. Now catching up on "Scandal" and then catching up on sleep is where it’s really at. And, it’s a good thing, because vanishing almost as quickly as my social calendar is my shotty metabolism. I can use all the extra help I can get when it comes to protecting my waistline and amount of sleep plays a huge part in that.
Many studies have demonstrated the relationship between sleep and weight loss. The research shows that those who regularly get more than seven hours of sleep have higher metabolisms, burn more fat and have far better appetite control than those who don't. A big part of the correlation comes down to hormones. When we are sleep deprived we produce more ghrelin – the hormone that tells us when we’re hungry – and produce less leptin – the one that indicates when we’re satisfied. Another important issue is that when we’re tired we simply have less willpower. We're too tired to put up a fight when those doughnuts show up in the conference room and too eager to find an excuse not to hit the gym. Been there, doughnut that.
Chill out
There’s another small tweak that can help boost our ability to lose weight at night: turning down the thermostat (ladies with hot flashes, rejoice!). Research suggests a number of reasons why decreasing the temperature in the bedroom can help decrease our dress size. First, when our internal furnaces kick in to warm us up, more calories are burned at rest. ‘Nuff said! Secondly, studies show that sleeping in cooler temperatures increases the amount of brown fat, also known as the good fat, which actually helps our bodies burn more calories. Setting the thermostat to around 15°C has been shown to improve daily energy expenditure by anywhere from 100 to 200 calories. Lastly, being too warm can disrupt our REM sleep cycle. This means we’re less likely to get quality rest, which is a crucial component of keeping weight down and the willpower up.
Carb up!
Yes, you heard me! Turns out, carbing up at night can actually improve our bodies' ability to lose more weight while we sleep. It may seem counterintuitive since we’ve been inundated with advice to ban starchy foods after 3 p.m. for years, but according to Toronto-based executive weight loss specialist, Adele Tevlin, we’ve been misinformed. Tevlin actually encourages eating a healthy source of carbs at dinner (think sweet potato, brown rice or quinoa), a strategy known as “carb-back-loading.”
“The principle is all based on hormones. When we eat some carbs for our last meal of the day we secrete serotonin, which then converts to melatonin, the hormone responsible for sleep," she explains. "This leads to a better quality of sleep. And we know that better sleep is correlated with weight maintenance and total health.”
So go ahead and indulge in those evening carbs, just make sure to finish eating about two hours before bedtime.
I gotta say....It sounds almost too good to be true.
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