Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy,
I am a 23-year-old man . I served in the army  and deployed  to Afghanistan. I was  medically discharged for PTSD about  two  years  ago . 
I'm currently going  to school to be  a firefighter but  I'm afraid  I've picked  this  field  not  because it  interests me but  because I cannot  go  back into the  military .
I'm working  in an  office  now and  I hate  my  job . Before this, I worked  at a  department store  and as  a machinist . But Maxy,
I can't see myself  anywhere  but  with the  military . What should I do ? 
Lost Soldier 
Dear Lost,
Those  who have been  in the  military  sometimes  have difficulty accepting  a job that is less exciting  or  challenging  . The  intensity   of the military experience  and  the bonding  with one's fellow  soldiers  can make everything  else pale in comparison . For some, it takes  a great deal of time  to readjust . Check out  military.com  for other  job opportunities for  veterans and also Career One Stop ( careeronestop.org ) at 1-877-345-0502 . Military OneSource offers  suggestions  and website links for  transitioning military members that might also be  helpful  for  you  ( militaryonesource.mil/transition  ).
Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
I have  been a widower  for  almost three  years . For the  past six months, I've been seeing a nice lady for a friendly relationship . She  also lost her spouse  several years  ago .
My lady friend  and  I have dined  out  a few  times and she  has questioned  why  I still wear  my wedding  ring . Maxy,  my wife was  my only  love . We were  together  more than 60 years . I will never  love  anyone  like that again . 
Is it  right  for me to wear  my wedding  ring ? Or if I am seeing someone, should  I put it away ? My friend says she's uncomfortable  when I  have it on . I care  about this woman, so please  tell me  what I should  do ?
Widower 
Dear Widower,
You actually have two issues; How long should  you wear  your wedding  ring once  you have  began  dating again....and is  a casual  girlfriend of  six months entitled  to tell  you to  remove it?
Wearing  your  wedding ring  gives  the impression  that you are still  connected   to your  first wife  and not ready to move on .
Nonetheless, wearing it  is  your decision, not  your  girlfriend's . Widows  often remove a wedding band  and wear it on their  other hand  or  have it  refashioned into a necklace  or  other piece  of  jewelry, allowing them  to continue  wearing it in a less  prominent  location .  You  might  consider  this   when  you are ready . Your strong feelings toward your wife would indicate you are not ready to move forward just yet.
Maxy

Dear  Maxy ,
I worked  on a project that required  my lawyers  services  . The  payoff  was  supposed  to be significant, but in the end  I'm the one that spent  money  while  the whole  deal went south . I am bummed  about  the death of  the project, but I am also out  a few  housand  dollars  .... which I don't  have  ... because I  have to pay  for  legal  services . I'm not  sure  what to  do . I simply do not  have the  money I owe  him  . I  have  been ducking  him  for the past couple  of  months but  I don't like that feeling . How can I handle  this  situation  with my  lawyer  when I realistically do not  have the  money  I owe  him ? 
Face  the  Music
Dear  Face  the  Music ,
Start  by reviewing  your  finances . Figure  out what  you can pay  your  attorney . While  you may not  have  the  full amount, chances  are  he will appreciate  a  good faith effort  to pay  his fees . Determine  what you can pay on a  monthly  basis  and then ask  him  if  he will accept  that payment  plan . Apologize  for not having  the full amount  up front . Remind  him you had  every belief  that the  deal  he was brokering  for  you  was  going  to come to  fruition. Since  it  did not, you are  low  on cash . Assure him  that  if  you come  into greater resources,  you will up  his  monthly  installment .
Maxy