Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
My daughter, who is in fifth grade, has  two suitors . No, I'm not  kidding . She came home to tell me how  uncomfortable  she was because  she wasn't sure  how to talk  to both boys  at the same time . They were all at a birthday  party recently  and the boys were  vying for her attention. She says it was fun, but also a little weird because she likes  one boy  but  doesn't  want to hurt  the other one's feelings . I felt  so happy  she came to me  with this situation . I want to be able  to help her, but I also  know that she has to learn for herself how to handle boys' attention . What should I tell Her ?
Growing  Up
Dear  growing Up ,
While you cannot  give your daughter  a prescription  for  how to navigate these two boys  as they talk  to her, you can give  your  guidance . First, let her  know  that it is very  nice that the  boys  find her interesting . She should consider that a positive . She should  remember  to treat  them and others as she would like to be treated . That may mean paying  attention when one is talking to her, responding to  questions  when asked, participating  in dialogue ... basically being present .
When one  boy interrupts another, she  can attempt to manage  that by saying "Hold on  let X  finish  what he was saying ."
Then  she can turn  to the other after he is  finished . Let her  know that it is much easier  to communicate  one-on-one  with the  boys, especially when they are attracted  to her .
Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
Recently  I haven't been  felt like getting out of  bed  or  doing  anything . I just  feel blah . I  have been  struggling  for  so long  to recover  from losing  my  job  two years ago . I do  freelance work, but often I am broke . I can hardly pay my  bills, and I am always negotiating with a creditor to not  cut me  off because  I'm late .
I am  tired  of all of it  and just  want to hide . I feel like  I just  want to  move back home with my parents  even thogh  I'm an adult . Maybe  if I don't have the pressure of  so many bills, it  might be easier  for me to get my act together . They offered , but I'm afraid . What should  I  do ?
Near the Brink
Dear  Near the  Brink ,
You may be suffering  from depression . I highly  recommend  that you  get  some mental health support  right  now, before  you pick up and do anything . Talk to a professional who can help you sort through  your thoughts .  You can call Crisis Clinic at 1-866-4-CRISIS  (1-866-427-4747) .
The struggle with losing a job and attempting unsuccessfully to rebuild your  life can take a toll . I wouldn't  rule out moving back home, even if it is   temporary .
Maxy


Dear Maxy ,
Forty-two years ago, I married a kind gentle man, caring man . Over the  years however, he became  hateful  and mean . I  spent the last  twenty years  trying to make it through one more  day without spurring his  anger, often unsuccessfully.
Finally I  asked his doctor to  check my husband for depression . His  doctor prescribed a mild antidepressant.  What a change  I am seeing ! I love my husband like I did  forty years ago and look forward to  growing  old with him . Please continue  to encourage  people  to see their  doctor about  depression .
Things  can be  better .
His  Wife .
Dear Wife ,
Thank  you  for the testimonial . Sometimes depression manifests  itself as  anger, withdrawal, mood swings or other behavioral problems that are not recognized as  depression . I am  glad  you asked  your  doctor  for  help  and  that he  took action which  helped .
Maxy