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Monday, April 16, 2012

Kids Say The Darndest Things 'My Pet Stories'



Kids love to talk about their pets and with characteristic freedom, they weave many a fanciful tale of improbable going on ... If they don't have a pet , they blithely make one up ... lets take a look at a few .
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*** One young man gravely assured me he had a pet . "A Horse." Where does he lived ?
"He sleeps with me ."
*** "In the bedroom ?"
"Of course !"
*** What does he do when you go to school ?
"He gives free rides to my brother ."
*** He couldn't be stumped . Who knows ? Maybe he does sleep with a horse .
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*** The subject of pedigrees is usually a challenging puzzler for kids . They usually don't know what a pedigree is ... their imagination runs wild .
*** You have any brothers or sisters ?
"One brother , but he is a cat ."
*** What's his name ?
"Socrates ."
*** "Does he have a pedigree ?"
"No , it died last year ."
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*** " You have a pet dog , is it pedigreed ?"
I think she lost her pegigree last week , my dad said she was in heat .
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One Boy said , I used to have a cat name Susie Q.
*** What happen to her /
It's a him .
*** A him named Susie Q/ Well , anyway what happened to him ?
He was chasing a mouse and he ran into a tree and was so ashamed he ran away .
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*** Have you any pets ?
No.
*** Ever have any ?
No .
*** Want any ?
No .
*** Why not ?
Because they make you scratch .
*** How do you know if you never had a pet ?
Because I had a friend who had a dog , and he gave the brother fleas , the daddy got fleas , the mother fleas , and so then the baby got fleas and now they all just sit around scratching .
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*** Every boy should own his own dog . Don't you agree ?
I do . But my dad don't .
*** What does your dad think ?
He doesn't think , he knows . Because we have a dog that bites .
*** What does he bite ?
Mouses , cats , newspapers and sometime Daddy .
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*** What do you like best ?
Collect pets and boyfriends .
*** How many do you have ?
Five .
*** Pets ?
No . Boyfriends .
*** How do you get so many ?
Oh , their families move into the neighborhood and I grab them .
***********************************************************************
*** Got a pet ?
I've got a dog .
*** Is that all ?
Yep .
*** Didn't you used to have something else ? Like a turtle ?
Oh . Once we had a turtle . But my brother flushed him down the toliet .
***********************************************************************
*** Do you have any pets ?
Yes ... chickens .
*** Have you taught them any tricks ?
Yes .
*** What ?
I taught the rooster to chase the hens .

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