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Monday, April 30, 2012

Kids Say The Darndest Things 'Kids: They're Wonderful'

If you need further convincing that 'Kids are Wonderful',' run your eyes over this selection of random comments from the brains of everyday boys and giels , just like those who may be living next door to you ... or right in your home :
***"I notice you have a tooth out . How do you think the new tooth knows when to start in ?"
"It was the last one out so it ought to be the first one in."
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Santa Claus has twelve reindeers , but he only uses about ten in the air .
*** Only twn ? What happens to the others?
They're spares .
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I'm the bravest boy on our block .
*** How do you know ?
I can kill bees with my bare fingers .
*** My , that is very brave . How do you do that ?
I sneak up behind them when they are on a flower and squeeze them .
*** With that kind of nerve , what do you think you will be when you grow up ?
"A bartender," said the boy with the widest grin .
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*** Do you have any real problems in life ?
When I go to a school dance somebody else always gets the pretty girls , and I'm left with the dregs.
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*** What did you have for breakfast ?
Eggs .
*** How do you like them ?
With the yellow in them .
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*** You're a club scout aren't you ?
Yes . Out motto is "Be Prepared."
*** What would yu do if you was lost in the forest ?
The thing to do is make a signal fire .
*** How do you do that ?You get tinder and flint and rocks and wood .
*** Have you actually tried this ?
Certainly . I've been away out in the mountains .
*** My what a good scout you are . After you got everything together , what happened ?
Nothing .
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I'm from Texas , the most wonderful place in the world .
*** What do you miss most about it ?
The snakes and the sandstorms .
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*** Who's the prettiest woman in the word in your opinion ?
My teacher . Right out there in the audience .
*** Well that takes care of your grades for the year . But what about your mother ?
Oh , she's okay I guess , except she runs around the house in her nightgown all day .
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I got a new boyfriend (bragged the pretty little girl )
*** How do you know he's really your boyfriend ?
I know because yesterday he told me to shut up and go home .
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I have one little sister named Judy and we have a baby in escrow.
*** In escrow ? Who told you that ?
All I know is my daddy said so .
*** What is escrow ? Do you have any idea ?
Well my daddy says anything that's in escrow , it seems like it's never going to come out .
*******************************************************************************
My sister just had a baby but they didn't tell whether it's a boy or girl , so I don't know whether I am an aunt or an uncle .
*** How are you doing in school
I'm first in English .
I'm first in History .
I'm first in the street when the bell rings .

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