Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
How do you say goodbye on the last day to an employee who did a terrible job but had tried to be loyal ? I am so torn . She continues to be nice and kindly over-bearing , but she is an irritant . And she has stayed absolutely as long as she can. I think with the notion that I might hire her back . I know I have to say goodbue strongly , but I don't want to hurt her feeling. Still she has to go . How can I make that clear without being mean ?
Resistant Boss
Dear Resistant Boss ,
It sounds as if you and your employee have an unhealthy bond , one that goes far deeper than the work at hand . You call her "kindly overbearing." I wonder what exactly that means.
You, as the boss , need to be clear about the en d of your employee's tenure . Thank her for her service . Bid her the best of uck as she moves on in her career. And clearly say goodbye .
As far as the other side of your relationship , acknowledge whatever it is that is tugging at you to remain connected to her . Assure her that you care about her and want her to do well in life . You may want to think about this turning point as the baby bird leaving the nest . Since you are prepared to take care of this woman long-term ... and you shouldn't be ... urge her to fly into the next phase of her life will be . That is not mean . It is liberating .
Maxy
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Dear Maxy ,
I trust my kids to do the right thing . This is what I have been teaching them since they was little .
And this is why I was so surprised to see that my son , who is 12 , bought up quite a few video games on my iPad without my premission . Yes , he had my password in order to get on iPad and to get into iTunes , but it has been years and he never did anything like that before .
I notice the iTunes charges when I got my credit card bill . I was so upset . When I asked him about it , he didn't think it was a big deal . How can I get the point across that buying something without my premission is a violation of trust .
Angry Mom
Dear Angry Mom ,
Passwords exist for a reason ... priarily so you can control how your account account is used . I'm not sure it's wise to allow your 12-year-old access to your password . But since you have , change your password and tell your son that as a purnishment , he now mush ask for premission whenever he wants to use your iPad . Also change your iTunes password so he can't go in get free or paid apps . He will likely be outraged at being cut off . That should serve as a good lesson .
Maxy
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Dear Maxy ,
The facts about tobacco use are startling . Every day , nearly 4,000 kids under the age of 18 try their first cigarette , and another 1,000 become regular smokers . To hook these kids , tobacco companies spend billions of dollars each year targeting kids like me with advertising near schools and malls , and they even alter their deadly products to look and taste like candy ! They also oppose efforts to make it more difficult for kids to obtain cigarettes , like tobacco tax increases and smoke -free laws .
With almost 20 percent of high school students who are current smokers , we need a change , and it needs to be both youth led and adult supported . Gigarette companies cannot survive unless kids smoke , so I am thankful to be working with the campaign for Tobacco-Free Kids as a young advocate to fight to reduce tobacco use and its devastating consequences on youth .
Your readers can get involved by visiting http://tobaccofreekids.org to learn more about what is being done in their community and how ... Judy Hou , The Virginia foundation for Healthy youth , Richmond , Va.
Healthy Youth
Daer Judy Hou ,
Many thanks for your terrific letter . I hope it will inspire readers to become involved , as well as convince others not to take that first puff . Smoking kills , and it can harm those around you . If you already smoke , please quit . It doesn't make you cool , it makes you stink .
Maxy