Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy,
For the past two years my 4-year-old granddaughter has been given medication to "help her enter REM sleep" at night , and the dosage was recently increased . She seems drugged and impossible to wake up.
This drug worries me , and I also have no clue what the long-term effects might be . I mentioned my concerns to my son and daughter-in-law and suggested trying more natural remedies , such as no TV or chocolate or sugery foods at night  and perhaps putting her to bed around 7:00 instead of 10:00 , but they ignored me.
It is hard to see a young child taking so much medication at such a young age. When she stays overnight at my house , she is on a calmer routine  with regular meals , and she  naps and eats and sleeps without any fuss. In fact , she is a joy. Do you have any suggestions on how I can be a positive influence in her life ?
Worried Grandma
Dear Worried Grandma,
Prescribing sleep medication for toddlers is , unfortunately , not uncommon these days, although we are comcerned that this pediatrician has kept your granddaughter on heavy drugs for such an extended period. Most pediatricians who recommend mediciation do so in conjunction with behavior management techniques - such as winding down before bedtime , no suger or caffeine , etc.  Although you are an expert on those technigues , it is not a good idea to stop any regular medication  without first checking with the doctor. But if your granddaughter doesn't need to take her sleep medication every night , the best thing to do is ask if she can sleep at your house as often as possible.
Maxy

Dear Maxy,
I have been seeing "Josh" for nearly three years . The problem is , his elderly mother's birthday is three days after mine , and every year he throws a big party on the nearest Saturday night . Meanwhile , my birthday is mostly forgotten.
Don't get me wrong , Maxy , I think it's wonderful and considerate that Josh does this for his mother . But I am turning 50 this year , I can't help feeling unimportant to him  and hurt  that' he's not planning anything special  to celebrate my birthday . I might mention that I always make a big deal out of  'HIS" birthday . Is there any way for me to address this without looking petty.
Hurting
Dear Hurting,
We realize your birthday is a big deal , but is there any reason you must celebrate on the same Saturday night as 'MOM?' Have you told Josh how important this birthday  is to you ? Guys often need to be given direct information rather than obscure hints. Let Josh celebrate his mother's birthday however he wishes . It will show your generous spirit . But tell him your 50th birthday is a major event for you and it would mean a lot if he did something special that won't interfere with Mom's annual party.
Maxy

Dear Maxy,
The greatest day of my life has arrived ... the day of the marriage proposal . On bended knee , my fiance asked me to marry him last week while we vacationed in the Bahamas.
Just one problem ; he gave me a gold wedding band , I'm still waiting for  for my  diamond ring ! I was highly upset with the ring he gave me , and I am actually still waiying for him to pull out the real one. What should I do ? I love my man , but I don't want to flaunt this ugly thing .
Mary
Dear  Mary,
What's most important is that your true love has formally announced his intentions to you . Could it be possible that he cannot afford a diamond at this time ?
Calm down . When you are less emotional about it , bring up the topic .
Maxy