Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
I am a grandpa  with 16  grandchildren, all of  whom I love  dearly . However, I don't particularly  like  four of  them  . They have a  you 'owe it to me ' attitude  and show absolutely  no respect, not only  to everyone  around them, but also to themselves . That being the case, I prefer  not  to have them associate  with me or attend  any family gathering  where they demand  to be the  center of  attention . I won't  put up  with that . I will, however  focus  my attention  on the remaining 12 . As far as I am concerned , 12  out of 16  isn't  bad .
Grandpa in Hawaii
Dear Grandpa,
You did not ask a specific question, so I assume you are doubting your thinking on this matter.
I  understand  why the behavior  of those  four  grandchildren  makes  you  dislike their  company, but please make an effort  not to let  your favoritism show . And  don't  give up on them . You are in a position  to teach  them how to be decent, compassionate  adults . Apparently, their  parents  aren't  up  to the task , but you certainly seem  capable . Please give them a chance to become better adults. Your reward will be seeing them prosper and return your love .
Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
My husband  has  been unemployed  for  about  six months  now . He is depressed  since  he is not  able to pay the household  bills  as he usually does  . I have taken  it upon myself  to see if I can  help my  husband  find employment . Do you think I am over-stepping  my  boundaries ?
Wife
Dear Wife ,
It is  a kind and thoughtful gesture  to try to  get work for  your  husband . Men often  take it particularly hard  when they lose  their  jobs  and have families  for  whom  they are  responsible  . Depression  is  often a side  affect  of  unemployment .
Your  husband  needs  your encouragement  and love  . What  you may want to do  is tell  him of  any  job leads you hear of or see advertised, do a little research . Just be very careful  you don't set him up  for a position  that he  may not want to accept  .  Sometimes  when people  do the legwork  for others, it  can backfire .
Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
I  graduated  from  high  school  this past summer  and I went out  of state  to go to  college . My school is  eight  hours  away  from my friends  and family . I am extremely  close to them,  so it seems  like they are on another  planet,  it's  so far  . I am having  a hard time adjusting  to the  university life  because it seems  people  are moving  much faster  than me . Can  you help me develop  a way I can enjoy  my college  experience ?
Off to  College
Dear Off to College ,
It takes  a while to  get accustomed  to living away from  home, meeting  new people  and  feeling  at ease . When  I  first  went away to college, I visited  home  several  times a year  because I was homesick . Over time , I became  more at ease  at school . It was a gradual and natural integration into campus life. I made friends  and I began  to feel like I was  where I was supposed to be .
Give  yourself  time to find your comfort zone...it will come. Meanwhile , use technology  to your advantage . Keep in touch  with your  family and friends  at  home  via  phone , text or  Skype .
As   far  as the pace of college  life at your  school,  you do not  have to move at that pace  for everything . Yes, you have to keep up with your studies  . But as  far  as social life  is  concerned, be sure to pick  and choose what works  for  you . Prioritize  your activities  based on your interests . Be aware that you do not  have to be involved  in everything  that your  friends  are doing . Choose to befriend people who have the same interests and goals. Talk  to your guidance  counselor  to learn  about  what clubs  and activities  are on campus and which ones resonate with you.
You will find your niche; just be patient.
Maxy