Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy,

My girlfriends and I had the idea that we would all go to a concert together as a fun activity. There are ten of us , so it has been a little frustrating trying to decide what everyone wants to see . Anyhow the group voted and decided to go to a country music concert . I do want to hang out with my friends , but I don't really like country music. So I don't want to spend the money for the ticket. Is that wrong ? Am I being a spoil-sport ? They  are mad that I'm considering not going . What should I do?

 Beth

Dear Beth,

Group activities are often unwieldy , and that includes the process of settling on what to do and when. I would like to challenge you to go with the group . Being together is half the fun, isn't it ? I think you will end up having a blast going to the concert that isn't your first choice.

You may be surprised to discover that you like country music , too , at least some of the songs . Whenever people make blanket statements  about entire genres of music, I recommend that they take a step back and reconsider why they have claimed such a general dislike for a whole category of content .

Years ago , I remember saying one time that I didn't like drum solos. Soon after , I went to some live music and lo and behold , the drummer gave one of the best drum solos of all time .

Maxy

Dear Maxy,

I had a party recently and one of my friends followed up to say that she was interested in someone she met at  my party . She is such a lovely woman . I was excited to see if  I could arrange  for her to meet up with this man . The thing is , it turns out he's married . I'm sure she didn't know . In fact, her call was to see if he is indeed available , because she had enjoyed talking to him.

I feel bad because I would love  for her to meet somebody nice. What do I do in this situation ? Do I tell the guy of her interest even though he is married  ?

Billie

Dear Billie,

It's nice that you had a party that gathered like-minded people . And, sure, it's too bad that these two people aren't available to be matched . But please do not try to match them up anyway.

Instead , just answer your friend's question . Tell her you agree that the man in question is a good guy but, unfortunately, he is married.

Keep him in mind as you think about your friend . You never know . There may be someone else in your world  who has similar traits and is single to whom you can introduce your deserving friend .

Maxy

Dear Maxy,

I have been working with a real-estate agent to find my  first apartment in New York , I am a very particular person , and he doesn't seem to understand this during my apartment  search. I have a limited  amount of time to find an apartment , and I feel as if he is getting in the way . I have told him what my needs are , and he continues to show me apartments that are not what I am looking for. I like him a lot , but how can I express my sentiments without being rude ?

Amy

Dear Amy,

This is a business relationship , and there's no reason for you to fieel guilty about wanting your agent to be more responsive to your needs . You can be firm without being rude and reiterate your requirements . Ask your agent to let you know if he can accommodate your needs . You can give him another chance as you also reach out to other real-estate agents who may be better suited to your needs and your personality.

Maxy