Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
We recently had dinner at a local restaurant   with three other couples . Usually , a tip is automatically added with parties of six or more , but this time , the server did not do so.

Our friend, who handled the check added the tip to the total bill , including the fairly hefty tax , and then divided by the numbers of couples to see what each owed . I was taught that  one gave a tip on the price of the meal , not including the tax.  Who is correct ? 
  

Janice W.

Dear Janice ,
 You are , although we are sure the server appreciated the extra money . I recommend you handle the check next time.

Dear Maxy .
 I share a cubicle with someone who has bad breath . Every time I offer my co-worker a stick of gum , she politely  declines. I don't know what to say to her without being rude . Do you have any suggestions ?

Hannah M.

Dear Hannah ,
 I can't tell you how many times I receive some version of this question. It has come so frequently that I have done quite a bit of research  on mouth odor , and have discovered  that bad breath  may actually serve as a health warning.
Mouth odor, especially chronic halitosis, can be a sign of illness , anything from gum disease to intestinal problems . How do you address this ? It will be awkward  to approach her. Still, I recommend that if her breath offends you, speak up out of respect for her.
Privately tell her you've noticed that sometimes she has sour breath and you thought she would want to know, because it may be a sign of a health problem . She will likely bristle, but if you state it plainly, politely and as a friend, she will hear you.


 Dear Maxy,
 I am  a woman in my  mid thirties. I am divorced and have one child. I recently had to move because of a new job.  I changed my family doctor to one closer to where I live. I have had three appointments with him  so far, one with my child and two by myself. I can tell he is attracted to me and I am embarrassed to get undressed or let him give me any kind of exam. Changing doctors again would be such a hassle  and he came so highly recommended. He is also within walking distance of my house. Please tell me how to handle this situation.

Joan R.

Dear Joan,
This is a difficult situation. it is necessary for you to be comfortable and at ease with your physician and to feel complete trust in him. As long as he is behaving in a perfectly ethical and professional way and does not act on his attraction to you, you could wait and see if his feelings die out naturally.  But if you are too uncomfortable to follow this course then you must seek a new family doctor, even if it is inconvenient and out of your way.
The relationship between doctor and patient  is very important. You put your life and those of your children  in his hands. Boundaries must be respected.