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Friday, August 9, 2013

Bush Has Been Pruned....All in a good cause


George HW Bush shaved his head in solidarity with cancer stricken toddler


President George H.W. Bush with his U.S. Secret Service Protective Detail (and Patrick!)
The former president, 89, recently shaved his head to show his support for Patrick, the two-year-old son of a member of his Bush's Secret Service who has leukaemia.
Bush's spokesperson, Jim McGrath, tweeted the photo of the former president's new 'do yesterday.

Bush said it was very easy for him to do. Bush's daughter, Robin, died of the same disease in 1953, when she was just 4 years old. And he wasn't the only one to lose his hair in solidarity with the sick toddler undergoing chemotherapy. Members of the Bush Protective Division are also bald, and are organizing a 50-mile motorcycle ride through Maine to help pay for Patrick's medical bills.
They also launched the website Patrick's Pals to help financially support the young cancer fighter.
Patrick's prognosis is "good," McGrath said yesterday.

It's heart warming to hear that good deeds are being done by good people . It helps to soften some of the harsher things in this mean old world that we have to tolerate every day. Why don't you go to Patrick's website and see what you can do?

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Ask Maxy

Dear Maxy ,
I left my hometown when I was 19 and have lived in a nearby state  for the past 27 years . Two of my children are grown  and on their own  and my youngest  currently lives  with my ex-husband overseas .
My mother is now in her 70s  and has many medical problems, lives alone and rarely leaves the house . I am also in a long-distance relationship with a man that lives near my mother .
I am planning to move back to my home state  to help my mother  and also pursue this relationship . However, I am torn  between  moving back there  and being able  to see my children who live in various places . It breaks my heart for my mother to be all alone . I also feel this man is "the one," and I want to see him .

Maxy, I spent nearly 30 years caring for my kids , I plan to see them every few months  and create a visitation schedule  for my son  to be with me . Am I being selfish to move away ?
Torn

Dear Torn,
Absolutely not .
You are not abandoning young children . Your kids no longer live with you, so you are free  to go where you wish . As long as you can visit your children and work out a time for your youngest  to be with you, you are under no obligation  to remain  in your current home .
You have spent  27 years taking  care of your kids  and now you are going  to take care of your mother . You deserve to also take care of yourself .
Maxy

Dear Maxy,
I recently invited  some friends  to my home  for an informal Suppey supper .
We've known each one another  for 10 years  and usually go out to restaurants . This is the first  time we've had them over to our home .
Since then , I have not received  any kind of invitation  from them . Worse, one of them recently  said they had such a good time  that we should do it again . But no one volunteered to use their home .
I have done a lot of entertaining in the past, and going over my guest lists, I realize that very few people  have returned  the favor . Before my husband died last year, he said flat out he was tired of entertaining  people who do nothing for us in return . One of our neighbors was invited twice to our home  and I have yet to be inside her home . Is reciprocity some old social  rule that no longer exists ?
Still  Waiting

Dear Still ,
No, but many people no longer feel obligated  to follow  any social rules at all . We think your particular problem is home entertainment . Too many people  are embarrassed by the condition of their houses  or by their cooking skills . They don't realize  that their friends  aren't interested  in comparing  furniture  and appetizers . They simple  want to enjoy  the company . The solution  for you is to entertain in your home  only those who will reciproate .
Maxy

Dear Maxy,
A young woman at my job  has been  wearing skirts and dresses  recently  that are see-through . In the regular office  light  you can't tell , but in the sunlight  or any strong light  you can see  right through them  to her underwear . I know I am kind of old fashioned  ... I still wear  slips when they are called for . I want to tell this young woman  how sheer  some of these garments  are so that she can at least decide  if a slip is worth considering . She doesn't seem like the kind of person who wants  people looking at her privates, but men at work  definitely do when she is not looking .
Peek-a-Boo

Dear Peek-a-Boo ,
As you already know this  young woman  may not welcome  your comments . Share them any way ... privately . Pull her aside  and explain  that you have something sensitive  you want  to share  with her . Tell her  that sometimes you can see  her underwear through her skirts  and dresses . Acknowledge that you weren't sure  if she was aware  of it and recommend  that she consider  a slip  when wearing  sheer garments . Leave it at that unless  she asks  you for specifics about which clothes you mean . If she asks, tell her .
Maxy

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Exercises for lean legs and tight butt

Ten Minute Workout
 
Get ready to rock those skinny jeans. Build a better lower body with some super-toning exercises for lean legs and tight butt. Do four moves, three times a week and you should see a difference in a month. For faster results add 20 minutes of cardio to the routine.
 

  

 
 
  



Remember to hold your tummy in tightly and keep your spine straight as you do the workout and you will get a bonus benefit. Good luck.

Monday, August 5, 2013

When Murphy Died

Did you ever have a friend who brought out the best in you.... made you bigger and better than you are; someone who made you feel good about yourself and the whole world? I was fortunate enough to have someone like that. Lianne Murphy was my best friend in highschool. We were always together. Fric and Frac, my English teacher called us and sometimes Tweedledum and Tweedledee.
She was just Murphy to most people; Murph to me (unless I had a few beers and then she was Murrr). She became known exclusively by her surname because of a habit she clung to religiously throughout highschool. You see, Murphy was not a morning person. Every morning in home-room would find her slumped over her desk, sound asleep. That's why she always chose a desk at the back of the room, usually behind a massively built football player. When the teacher took attendance and called "Murphy,"it was my job to poke her awake so she could answer, "Present." When that failed and the teacher called a little louder and meaner,"MURPHY", I often answered for her. I could do a fair impression of her voice. I still can. She had a sweet, lilting, musical voice, perhaps harking back to her Irish roots.

When Murphy woke up, the sun came out. She was brilliant. She was beautiful to look at, beautiful to listen to,  just beautiful,  down to her soul. She was filled with joy and humor and she shared both generously. She was spilling over with music, always singing. When the teachers told her to stop singing in class she would hum. When they told her to stop humming, she would whistle under her breath. We took violin lessons together and played well in tandem. We played many duets at many assemblies and theatrical productions. She played better, without a doubt. She was everything I was not and wanted to be but I was never envious of her.

Oddly enough, she was jealous of my drawing talent and my job, writing for the school newspaper. She could speak and sing like an angel but she could not string a handful words together on paper. Nothing would delight her more than when I drew a funny little cartoon and passed it to her in class or wrote her a limerick or rhyme. Many a note was intercepted by teachers and sometimes we were detained after school. But a time or two I caught the teacher smiling at some little picture or poem of mine.

Boys clustered around Murph like bees around an exotic bloom. She was as golden haired as I was dark. But we were as close as Siamese twins and I benefitted from that and was included in all the fun and frolics that followed her from place to place. I was even asked for dates by boys who probably wouldn't have looked twice at me if I wasn't in Murphy's posse.

But all was not rosy in Murphy's life. Her parents had begun to argue a lot and snipe at each other and even worse were the cold silences that could last for days. One night, I was startled out of a deep sleep by a tapping on my bedroom window. I was about to scream for my dad when I heard Murphy's voice calling my name. I opened the window and she practically cannon-balled into my room. She had tears streaming down her face and was talking so fast I could not understand her. I shushed her and got some tissues and a glass of milk and told her to talk slow and keep her voice down.
Between sobs and gasps, I gathered that her father had walked out on her mom; out of the house and as it unfolded, entirely out of their lives. He later married a younger woman and moved from the province. Murphy was devastated. She adored her father. She cried herself to sleep, curled up on the end of my bed. I stayed awake for a long time thinking about the contrariness and selfishness of adults. I never thought he would be so callous as to abandon his beautiful daughter so completely. I realized then,  as never before,  that I was the fortunate one. I was cherished by my dad.
Some of the sunshine went out of Murphy after that. Oh, she was still charming and funny and charismatic but something was gone and she didn't sing so often any more.


When Murphy died ..... 2
Murphy didn't speak of her father at all after the night she came to me and cried her heart out. She threw herself, almost frantically, into a hectic social life. She became involved in a fairly serious relationship with a very nice guy. I remember his name was Graham and he was an A student. He was a track star and won trophies for the school. He was good looking in a Ryan Seacrest kind of way. There was ongoing speculation about how involved they were. Graham was interested in medical research and so he would be in school for a long time. The rest of us knew we were too immature for serious relationships. We just wanted to have fun and shyly, tentatively edge our way toward having sex or lying about it, at least.

Summer was the best time of all. Those glorious sun filled days when we were bursting with energy and hormones and endless possibilities. Many of those days were spent at our favorite beach, Port Elgin, a popular resort in Ontario.
Most of the kids in my immediate group of friends had European sports cars of varying vintages and in various stages of rehabilitation, according to their financial situation. At that time, in Canada, they were fairly easy to come by and not very expensive. I had an old red MGA (probably worth something now).  A couple of friends had Triumphs and I remember Greg Forte had an Austin Healey (definitely worth something now).  Greg was huge.  I could never figure how he crammed his bulk into that car.

It was a contest to see how many bodies we could squeeze into those little two seaters. I could pile two people in my passenger seat and two more sat on the trunk with their legs dangling behind the seats. All the stragglers and less popular people climbed into the back of an old pickup belonging to a nice but geeky guy named Don Shuster who kind of followed us around but stayed on the fringe of the group. Off we would go in a caravan down the highway and we didn't go slowly.
Geez Louise, If I saw my kids taking chances like that I'd freak . Fortunately they have a lot more sense than I did.

One particular halcyon day we arrived at the beach shouting and singing at the top of our lungs and drove to our favorite spot where the sand was packed nice and hard and we could take the cars fairly close to the water. Murph and I liked to stroll along the water's edge and collect clam shells and fossils and bits of interesting driftwood. So, we wandered off while the others cavorted like retarded seals in the water. We spoke now and then. Our silences were comfortable. She told me she was very much in love with Graham. I wanted to know if she could see herself married to Graham but we both spotted a tiny rowboat dragged up on the sand and the question went out of my head.
"Let's take it out,"she said with a mischievous Murphy grin.
"Why not?"said I.
We shoved off and jumped aboard. We rowed enthusiastically and because Murphy pulled so hard on her oar we travelled in a big circle.
"Ease up a bit," I told her. She did, but even so, we moved in bigger circles until I just gave up in disgust.
"We're going nowhere like this," although I noticed we had drifted out some.
Murphy thought it was funny. I smiled at her and we laid back in the boat and looked up at the hot blue sky. It was so peaceful being rocked by the waves and lulled by the lapping sounds, I was almost seduced into a doze.

Lake Huron is mercurial and can go from smooth as glass to rough and choppy in a moment. I noticed we were being buffeted by the waves that had soothed us a short time ago. I sat up just as we were broadsided by a fair sized wave and tipped to portside.  We hung on and I suggested we row like hell back to shore.  We had drifted out quite far from the beach. Again we circled, until I cried, "You row, you're stronger", and I ducked under my oar and fell to my knees in the bow.
I was overwhelmed with fear for Murphy, she couldn't swim . She worked those oars like Wonder Woman and got us about twenty feet from shore. Then the boat skewed sideways and was broadsided again. Murphy outweighed me and her weight, sliding to my side of the boat, tipped us over. Fortunately the lake is shallow for quite a distance from shore and we came up spluttering and laughing. We dragged the boat back up onto the beach minus an oar which I managed to retrieve from the water and made our way, sandy and soggy, back to the party of shrieking teens.

A couple of hibachis appeared and Greg grilled up a feast. He always did. He was magic. I don't know why his food always tasted so good. Maybe it had something to do with the day, the sunshine and the utter joy of being young. We drove home happy and replete. I learned an important lesson that day. I couldn't bear to lose Murphy.

To be continued

 

When Murphy Died.....3



Is it true that 'only the good die young'? Perhaps,  in some people,  the spiritual self is stronger than the corporeal self and it calls them away from this earthly plane much sooner than they should go. When Murphy died I lost my faith in everything. I remember standing outside on a freezing winter's day and screaming to the sky,"You bastard!" To whom or what I cried, I do not know. It was bizarre; the way she died.  It was so unexpected; a chance in a million.

In our senior year we were separated for the first time. I don't know if it was by chance or design that we were put in different classes. Perhaps the faculty thought it would be best for both of us to break up Tweedledum and Tweedledee. I wondered who would wake Murphy up for attendance every morning. I found out from Murph that she had a new and faithful monitor. It was Don Shuster, the geeky but sweet guy who drove gaggles of kids around in his truck. He became a good friend of Murphy's and, gradually, of mine. He lived on a farm practically on the town line. We went to lunch out there with him and his geeky but sweet parents. The farm became one of our favorite places.
 
Late one night, I was once again awakened by a 'tap, tap, tap' on my window. I wasn't afraid this time. I knew who it was but I didn't want to open the window. I assumed she had brought some more tragic or life changing news to share with me and I was so tired. I peeked through the curtains and saw her grinning at me. "Open up, "she mouthed.
I opened the window and said, "What the hell do you want at two in the morning?"
"We did it, "she announced.
"Who did what? "I asked, confused and sleep befuddled.
"Graham and I did 'IT' , stooopid . Wake up !"
"GEEZ! Get in here." I hauled her through the window.

We were probably the only virgins left in the senior class. She had never liked anyone enough, before now, to give away her innocence and I felt the same way, plus, I was a little scared. I asked her how it felt and she said it hurt.
"Well, when the hurt went away did it feel good?"
"The hurt didn't go away. It was sore the whole time."
"Then why do you look so pleased with yourself?"
"Oh, I'll get used to it and the important thing is that Graham and I are getting married before we go to university and then we can live and study together and I won't be lonely in Hamilton".
I was disappointed that she hadn't enjoyed the sex. We had great expectations and had promised to tell each other everything, when we were finally initiated into that ultimate, adult experience.

 
 I didn't know how I felt about her getting married so soon. I think I felt left out and maybe even a bit jealous but I tried to be enthusiastic about her pie-in-the-sky plans. When she left, I laid down and tried to sort out my feelings. I seemed to feel that Murphy was growing up faster than I and leaving me behind. We were still very close but I had noticed that she had a few new friends in her class and they were all making very mature decisions about what universities they wished to go to. I was still uncertain about my future.

I don't think I have mentioned that Murphy was a little vain. She was always fussing with her glorious golden mane and she was proud of her perfect porcelain skin. She had a medium sized mole at the top of her thigh. It showed just below her bikini so she decided winter was a good time to have it removed, giving it lots of time to heal before summer. She told me one morning that I would be taking music lessons alone the next day while she spent an hour or so at the hospital.

After the mole was removed she decided she was going to look into breast enhancement. I told her she was crazy. She was stunningly beautiful. No one was perfect and Graham loved her as she was. A few weeks after the mole surgery she said she didn't feel well. She was tired and felt dizzy. She was excused from school and went home.
 I called her house the next day when she didn't show at school and no one answered. No one was home the next day or the next. I had a terrible dread in the pit of my stomach. I just knew Murphy was very ill. Mrs Murphy called me the following evening and asked me to go to the hospital to visit Lianne as soon as I could. She wouldn't tell me what was wrong, just that she needed a little cheering up. I wrote down the directions and room number and said goodbye. I felt so cold inside. I didn't sleep and I had a horrible premonition that Murphy was dying.
 
I left for the hospital as soon as was possible the next day. Murphy looked pale and she had an IV drip in her arm. Her eyes looked huge and she looked like she had shrunk a bit. She saw me and she smiled a big Murphy grin. I felt tears welling behind my eyes but I struggled to hold them back. I was there to make her feel better.
"What took you so long to get here?" she quipped.

"I didn't know where you were. I thought maybe you eloped."
"I thought about it," she said, "but Niagara Falls is colder than a witches tit this time of year; cold enough to freeze the balls off a stone penguin; cold enough to freeze the nuts off the Peace Bridge."
"Okay, okay. What's wrong with you?  And tell me the whole truth.
"I'm dying Jeannie. Shit! Shit! Shit! I'm dying."
To actually hear the words spoken aloud felt like being hit in the gut with a giant fist. I was too stunned to speak for a moment. I tried to collect my thoughts and be strong for her but for the rest of the visit I couldn't do much more than hold her hand and listen to her. A refrain echoed down a long dark corridor in my mind. "It's not fair. It's not fair."
 
The mole didn't have the usual physical characteristics of a melanoma. I can't remember if it was biopsied first. In any case, it had been excised. The surgery had somehow stimulated it to metastasize and spread the cancer to her lymphatic system. From that point the spread was very rapid. At that time there was not much they could do for Murphy. It spread to her lungs first then her liver.
 
The cards and floral tributes arrived daily from dozens of people. I had no idea that she was so beloved. The teachers came to visit, the students and even the principal. I was there every day and I saw people turn away with tears in their eyes. I knew they were thinking it was so tragic because she was young, beautiful and special and she had so much to give.
She received dozens of teddy bears which she donated to the children's wing. The flowers she sent to old or terminal patients. Her father had been notified and every day she asked her mother if he had called. He didn't. She received a vase of roses from him and that was all. Graham disappointed her too. He came to visit but he always looked uncomfortable and didn't stay long. I think he couldn't bear seeing her in pain and seemed to be in denial about her dying because he talked to her as if she was going to get well soon.
 
By the time the cancer reached her brain she was wasting away and was very weak. She said to me in a wispy voice," He's not going to come is he Jeannie?" I held her hand tightly. She went blind a week after those sadly whispered words. Then she went deaf.  She stopped talking. I couldn't stand it anymore. I had to get away for a day or two. I went to a party at Greg's. His parties were the best. I felt guilty the whole time.

When I went to the hospital the next day she was in a coma and her mother told me she wanted to take her off life support. Turns out it wasn't necessary. Murphy died that afternoon.  I screamed at the heavens and cried until I was so hoarse I couldn't speak for days. Her mother and I held each other tightly at the funeral and promised to stay in touch.
The high school held a special memorial service for her and had a plaque with Murphy's name and a tribute from all the people who loved her mounted on a stand and placed in the mezzanine of the school. To this day it's still the first thing you see when you walk into the building. No one else has ever been honored in this way in all these years.

The rest of the winter dragged on like it would never end and I stayed in my cocoon of grief and misery. Finally, spring came and the sun awakened all the sleeping trees and flowers and I found myself walking along the edge of the water at Port Elgin. I hadn't wanted to go but my friend and savior, Don Shuster, had insisted. He walked silently beside me. I suddenly felt lighter, as if a burden was gently lifting from my shoulders. I felt her walking with us, picking up shells and she was happy. She was laughing at me. The smell of Greg's magical hamburgers wafted over us and we turned back. I was very hungry.
Why am I telling this story at the time of the year that we celebrate new beginnings ? When Murphy died... it was New Year's Day.
Listen for my tap on your window, Murph old friend. I'm not far behind you now.....Jeannie.

Friday, August 2, 2013

Is Technology Making us One Step From Crazy ?

A woman sits on her laptop computer on other the couch
 

When’s the last time you checked your email? Your cell phone?  Two thirds of us check our mobile phones for calls or messages even when the phone isn’t ringing or buzzing. Which is kind of compulsive — Pavlovian, for sure. It maybe even qualifies as slightly crazy. When’s the last time you checked your land line for missed calls after hours of silence?
Let’s face it, technology has made willing slaves of us all, whether we’re madly scrolling through our Facebook timelines, posting photos of our breakfasts or mindlessly primping for selfies — oh, for the days when people would run from having their photos taken! Low self-esteem never looked so good.
Narcissism, however, is the least of our problems posit experts who worry that we’re overstimulating and overloading our brains with so much stuff that it’s having a deleterious affect on our “sense of meaning.”

We may have all the facts and an infinite store of information, but we have no cohesive or discerning method of assembling them into a narrative that makes any sense. Add to that our addiction to work and our insistence on being connected to everything (except our immediate surroundings apparently) and we are running ourselves ragged.

With physical depletion comes a decline in the things that tend to give our lives meaning — reflection, imagination, creative thinking, says Tony Schwartz, CEO of the Energy Project.
Schwartz offers advice for stepping off the technology treadmill and enjoying our physical world.
Quit working all the time! Take breaks. Join your colleagues for lunch and leave your Blackberries behind at the office. Use up your holidays.

Let the virtual world vanish into the ether and start to tell yourself a story with meaning — and restrict clicker training to your dog.
 
You know what? Somehow I don't think we're going to pay too much attention to Mr. Schwartz. I see us getting more lost in a virtual world. I see us all floating in our little bubbles in cyberspace for eternity. It would take something cataclysmic to pop those bubbles. No offence Mr Schwartz...just saying.

The Little White Dress...(summer's version of the little black dress)

white dress
LWD (Little White Dress)
 
The  summer version of the LBD is the LWD. It makes you feel instantly cooler and ready for any last-minute invites on hot and humid days. It’s an easy go-to and if you don’t already have a LWD in your closet, search for one that has a slip dress, lingerie-inspired feel with a lacy finish. Paired with flat, strappy sandals or unexpected car shoes, there’s no need for extra accessories. Then, grab your camera, a pair of lightweight sunnies and a backpack to hit the summer streets.
Hair and makeup should follow the same laid-back vibe: a simple topknot, sunscreen and lip balm are all you need. The LWD will take you anywhere and at this point in the summer you can get them on sale.